영원히 - 𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣| ℕ𝕠ℝ𝕖𝕟𝕄𝕚𝕟

팔 - 𝔼𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥

this is what crushing is like?

             

I walk out of my classroom and find my way to the band room, which they were oh-so kind to lend to us this year while the choir room was under construction. Upon arrival, I saw that I was the last one there, not surprising, I took my time.

"Our president's late, so fitting~" sang out Donghyuck. He was standing next to Mark who was giving him puppy eyes. Why do all the gays have to be so oblivious, god damn...

"I'm late cause we've got time, besides, there's only five people in choir," I stated, wondering what I had on schedule for today's meeting. Yeah, recruits and positions...

"Anyways," I started, clasping my hands together with a clap. Pushing the door to the band room open, I continued. "Let's get down to business!"

"To defeat," Chimed the new freshman, Chenle.

"The huns!" Everyone else, excluding myself, sang. Unity is such a strange thing...

"Back to normal everyone," I snapped my fingers, gaining their attention. I sat with my back straight in a chair, waiting for everyone else to do the same. Once settled comfortably, I started again.

"Before we warm up, any ideas on how to get more members? Because if we don't get at least five more members they're gonna take us off school activities and we'll have to meet outside of school."

"What if we did one of those perform during lunch type things?" Asked Minho, one of Felix's friends. "Like, we all do a song or something and make 'em watch us?"

"I'll ask the counselor, thanks Lee," I replied, satisfied with the suggestion. Might also ask Chan if we can make class and club a conjoined grade...

"Anyways, we're gonna start off with scales, then we'll get to picking songs as a group first, sounds cool?" I orated. Plugging in the keyboard, I started from middle C and played the starting keys as everyone else nodded.

🏵️🍯🏵️

When the meeting finalized, I put the book I was using to write down our song choices in my bag and unplugged the keyboard. "Alright guys, see you in here again tomorrow, remember to look for songs that suit your voice," I said, rounding on Chenle at the your.

He giggled a little and then walked out the door with Minho. 

As I walked out, I left Mark and Donghyuck alone. Mark said he was going to tell 'his fullsun' that he liked him sometime today. So just in case he didn't do it earlier, he was going to do it now. 

When I walked away, I remembered that I had to sign out the usage of the band room and made my way to the library. After completing the ever so trying task of getting away from Mrs. Choi –the librarian who never seemed to stop talking about book club– in five minutes,  I walked over to the Korean Barbecue place three blocks away.

No matter how uneventful, the walks I take are always the favourite part of my day. If I've learned anything from Studio Ghibli is that I'm to romanticize the small things in life. The quiet of it was beautiful, as I took the back roads with limited traffic –foot and otherwise.  In around twenty minutes I arrived at the restaurant.

The bell on the door chimed when I pushed it open. A "Welcome to Moon and Thai, Korean Barbecue and Thai! If you'd please take a seat and someone will be right with you," came from the order counter.

I decided to sit at the bar-like counters, when I saw a familiar looking blond.

"Jeno?" I questioned out loud, hopping to whoever you believe in that I was right and didn't just embarrass myself. The person in question turned around with a small "eh?" and I found I was right.

"Hi, what are you doing here?" He asked, his little eye smile showing. You don't have to be gay to appreciate art, guys, I'm straight— that's a lie.

"Nothing much, just hungry after choir," I responded, "What about you?"

"I dropped off Nana and he bribed me with a discount to drop him off at home too, so I'm waiting for him to switch to ringer."

With that, out walked the boy in question who stood now at the register. With a smile, he gestured to the register in with an "Are you gonna order?"

"Taped under the counter, Renjun regular," I said. I've been here so much that the people usually on shift when I'm here have it memorized. Maybe I'll eat at the Thai side tomorrow...

"Right," Jaemin said as he nodded. After a short, silent wait, my small meal of Galbi and Korean Green salad was brought and the grill lit. Making sure the meat was cooked thoroughly, I offered a portion to Jeno, who gladly received.

As with my walks, I enjoyed the quiet, payed my bill and bid my goodbyes to my schoolmates.

🏵️🍯🏵️

The walk to my bus stop from the restaurant was much less quiet, but I had headphones with me. Once on the bus, I plugged them into my ears and listened as T.V soundtracks and instrumentals flowed through my ears.

Eyes closed and feeling content, my thoughts slip into the day's events. From Mark telling me he was going to tell Donghyuck –his sun at this point– his feelings to choir and its melodious sounds, two people stuck out the most.

Though I'd just started talking to them today, I couldn't deny that I'd thought about Jeno and Jaemin as more than possible friends before. In middle school I crushed on both, but quickly got over myself.

But those thoughts were coming back. At least for Jeno. This morning seeing him standing there with his jacket in one hand and his hair styled as if he woke up and ran his hands through it –it was like looking at a model. Then when he hugged me during lunch, though I had a sneaking suspicion that it was to get Jaemin's  attention, I couldn't help but wish it happened again.

I pull the chord signalling I wanted to get off the bus and walked off. The walk home was flooded with songs from The Umbrella Academy and Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation.

Every time Jeno came to mind, I shook him out and started singing along to Drunken Dreams of the Past.