How to Tame the Player

I Flip The Bird At A Dog

Holly Harper

Have you ever been mortal enemies with a dog? A real animal, a black Labradoodle to be exact. That thing's heart was as black as its fur coat.

Its owners? The Blackthorns. Oh, the irony...

Its name was Netherlands. I'll give you three guesses on who named it.

I guess I should be honored that Matteo named something (even if it was his dog) after his stupid nickname for me, Holland. But honestly, Netherlands?

Plus, that mutt hated me from the very beginning. I can't even begin to count the number of times it's tried to bite me. Matteo always cracks up and gives it extra doggy treats, saying it has good taste.

I never did anything to that dog, I swear. I guess it thought I looked at it funny or something and started a personal vendetta against me. Maybe like Rowan, he's spending too much time with Matteo.

So there I was, on a sunny Saturday morning, minding my own business with my friends at the park. We were supposed to go to the mall today, but it wasn't open yet.

Beth was singing that sunshine song by Katrina and the Waves, loudly and very off-key. Flora was trying to shush her because people were staring, while Pippi and I carried on our conversation serenely, too used to Beth.

"No, honestly Pippi, coffee makes the world go round."

"You're addicted to that stuff, you know that Holly?"

"I'm not! I can go a day without coffee, I just prefer not to."

"I prefer you don't either; that one time you didn't have any, you were a feral beast throughout the whole day until Flora snuck into the teachers' lounge to make you some."

"I was not a feral beast."

"You went all ape shit on Jennifer Graham."

Okay, in my defence, I was having a bad day. I didn't have time for coffee that morning because my devil of a neighbour rigged a bucket of slime to splash all over me when I opened my front door. I had to go shower and change, which took fifteen minutes. By the time I was done, I was running late so no coffee, which caused some withdrawal symptoms let me tell you. And then when I had the time to track down Matteo Blackthorn, Jennifer's tongue was down his throat, so naturally I had to yell at them both, Matteo for that stupid prank and Jennifer for being stupid enough to fall for him.

"I had good reason!" I argued back.

Pippi shook her head amusedly and continued walking. She opened her mouth to say something else, but was cut off by a dog's incessant barking.

"What the-" I turned and saw a too-familiar black Labradoodle racing towards me. Oh no...

"Netherlands!"

"Where's that stupid dog going?"

Instinctively, I turned and ran. Netherlands chased me, growling.

Now, I'm not exactly an athletic person. PE is torturous hell. The gym is like Hogwarts to me; no rowaner how much I convince myself I'll go one day, I never do. I was crushed when I turned eleven and didn't get an owl at my door, let me tell you.

Anyway, I was soon out of breath and slowing down. Netherlands barked, probably sensing victory. So I grabbed a stick from the ground and screamed "THIS IS SPARTA" before throwing it as far as I could.

Apparently that thing isn't actually a dog because it didn't go fetch. It was simply distracted for a few seconds, before turning its attention back to me.