Isolation

Busy

I tap the side of the keyboard and click my fingers. I've been sitting in front of this computer for weeks and still nothing. Maybe some music will help me. I lean back in my chair and stretch my legs underneath my wooden oak desk. I yawn and glance at the clock, Thursday, 10am April 26th. I've been awake since 4 pm Tuesday almost two days. Dammit. I sit up and walk over to the window. I have to finish this assignment. Everything depends on it. My whole future. I won't be able to get a job if I don't finish and I only have one chance. Feeling dizzy, I stagger over to the window to open the blinds. I tug on a small beaded rope and for the first time in about a week I see the sun. The cloudless sky makes the sun look fierce and radiant. Since I started working on the commission from work I haven't talked to anyone in ages. Then I come to a realisation.

I suddenly turn my back to the daylight and scramble to find my phone. I hunt through all the rooms in the house until I eventually scavenge it from under all the work papers on the kitchen table. It was on silent so I wouldn't have heard it from my room. There's a 734 notifications and 99+ messages and missed calls. I scroll through all the texts all from my friends and family who've wondered where I've been. They couldn't have come to check on me since we are all in lockdown.

I glance away from the artificial light from the screen and look at the scene in front of me. It's dark, the curtains are all closed, and the morning glow of the sun is trying to extend its rays through the cracks. Everything somehow looks so beautiful. I don't remember much since I started working. I've abandoned communicating to people for so long. Feeling overwhelmed I go open up all the curtains. I gather up some clean clothes and hop in the shower. I turn on the fan and step into the shower. The water heats up in a minute and I realise I haven't had a shower in ages. I scrub my arms and legs with soap getting a couple layers of dirt off my skin.

I tread out of the bathroom in a set of clean clothes. The cold air dances around me and I pick my phone up again. "Sorry for not answering, I was a bit busy but now I'm back" I send it to all my contacts and read all the messages. The last time I was on my phone was 14th of May. It's been a month. No wonder I have so many messages. I start to feel faint again and I flop onto the couch.

After a nap I am feeling better, I decide to get out of the house. I put some white battered Kmart shoes on and lock the door behind me. I've been separated for so long I haven't thought about looking after myself. As I step out onto my front cement porch I can feel the fresh crispy clean air. A section of my tangled damp hair blows in front of my face. I push it back behind my ear and step into my car. I don't quite know where I'm going but I feel like I'm missing something. Wind the windows down and put some relaxing music on.

The wind blows through my hair and it's almost 5 o'clock. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going and now I'm at a long golden coloured beach. The salty ocean breeze is calming and a reminder of all the great memories I've had at the seaside. The sun starts to set and I finally pull up to a park bench. Its set near a small pathway to the beach, I walk towards a small clearing. In the distance you can see waves pound against a cliff not so far away. The sound of the birds, the soft rnb music playing in the background was an adrenaline rush. The sun made my skin glow in the evening light. I was so withdrawn from the world. I stare at the lavish twilight. The way the light bounced off the water and made it sparkle. It seems to be glinting invitingly in an extra special way, for me. 'I didn't realise what I was missing out on' I mutter under my breath.

I had sat at the bench until the mosquitos and the luminous night sky came out. The bench is far behind me and all I have to do is find my way home. I stroll towards my 2004 Mercedes-Benz that I bought for under $6000 dollars. I know it's cheap and the steering veers off to the right every time I'm driving down a highway and the unforgettable roar of the engine is uncomfortably loud. But it gets me around and that's all I need. I rev up the engine and I pull out and start toward the closest highway. Untethered from the chains of seclusion I'm finally free.

idek