okay, michael//ryan howard

1. pilot

 it was another boring day at dunder mifflin in scranton, pennsylvania. blair peterson sat at her desk at reception, airpods in, scrolling through buzzfeed on her phone. her job was pretty easy- she was personal assistant to the regional manager, michael scott. he was a very clueless man, almost like a giant child. nevertheless, blair was grateful to have a job. she came from a family of old money. her parents, filthy rich off a hefty inheritance, never having worked a day in their lives, were pushing her to become a supermodel, but blair had other plans. after an illustrious high school career in los angeles as captain of the cheer team and 4-time prom queen, and a wild college experience as president of the largest sorority at ucla and captain of their cheer team with a major in fashion and a minor in economics, she fled to scranton, the most boring town she could think of, and took the first job she could get her hands on until she could figure out what she wanted to do with her life. unfortunately, that job was dunder mifflin.

it wasn't that blair had a bad life. she wasn't one of those popular-girl-turned-store-clerk sob stories. her parents still sent her hefty sums of money, and she had made a lot of friends in scranton even outside of the office. she fit right into scranton's resident group of wealthy party people. she went clubbing every weekend and to house parties at least twice a week. within dunder mifflin, she was the office sweetheart. everyone liked her, except angela, who didn't like anybody except dwight. she was funny and charismatic, but knew exactly how to handle herself in any fight or argument she might get into. her confidence and charm were even more prominent than her stunning good looks: blonde hair in a wavy lob, and a slim face with large bright blue eyes.

she was a little nervous when michael made the announcement that he was going to have a documentary filmmaker named ken come into the office and film everything that went on there. it seemed like a recipe for disaster. they were scheduled to come in at ten-thirty, and it was ten o'clock. there was also a new temp coming in at noon. she had michael send him an email notifying him about the crew. she was sitting next to pam at the reception table. it was supposed to be a temporary arrangement until they cleared out a space for her in the annex, but everyone, including blair, forgot about it and she ended up sitting there for the entire year she'd worked at dunder mifflin. she didn't mind sitting there because she got to talk to her friend pam and witness pam's cute little interactions with jim.

blair cut the volume up a notch. a fax from corporate for michael came in, and pam printed it out and laid it on her desk. blair started another buzzfeed quiz, and before she knew it pam was nudging her and michael opened the door, talking to a man with a camera. that must be ken. blair quickly put her airpods back in the case and snapped it shut.

"ah, this is our receptionist, pam," michael said, walking over to our desk. "pam! pam, pam! pam beasley. uh, pam has been with us, um...for...forever. right, pam?"

pam laughed uncomfortably. "well, i don't know."

"if you think she's cute now, you should've seen her a couple of years ago." he imitated what sounded like a tiger mewling.

"what?" asked pam, taken aback.

"and this, this is blair peterson. blair bear. or, as i like to call her, sweet bottom. because she has one sweet-"

"okay, michael," blair interjected. she shot the camera a quick smile.

"anyways, blair's the office hottie. she came in here a year ago, and we were gonna move her to the annex, but we just had to sit her right here so everyone could see her when they, you know, needed a quick, um, pick-me-up. anyway, she has this, like, superpower, and it's that everyone likes her. everyone in this office likes blair, isn't that crazy? it's all in the tits, i think. got some evil witch spell that she-"