oneshots and requests!!

adopted by jian yang

 part 1

it was an ordinary day for erlich bachman. he was in his room listening to xxxtentacion and staring at his ceiling. his dark auburn strawberry blondish-brown curls were held back by a WNBA sweat band. the logo was upside down but erlich didn't care to notice. his room smells like weed but he doesn't notice or care about that either.  "come downstairs now!!!" erlich hears his mother scream over the sound of xxxtentacion's 2018 hit SAD! from his second studio album. he wants her to stop screaming so that he can focus on his ceiling and his weed. "NO MOM!!! 420 BLAZE IT!!!!" he screams back. his mom then yell "ERLICH. GET YOUR FAT ASS DOWN THE STAIRS. I SOLD YOU SO I COULD BUY MORE WEED." erlich only heard the second part of what she said so he just brings his bong thinking he is getting more weed. he is excited for this and he speed walks down the hallway. when he gets to the stairs erlich sees something surprising! there is a shorter man standing next to his mom. the man has glasses and wears a crew neck long sleeve shirt. what the hell??  thats's not his uncle dustin who lives in portland! erlich is confused because he thought that uncle dustin had invented weed and didn't know that other people had it too. he likes uncle dustin. uncle dustin lives in portland and they do the naked bike ride and uncle dustin plays the best music. erlich fondly recalls a memory from a few years ago of the day when erlich and uncle dustin made a trap remix of sweet home alabama by lynyrd skynyrd. they posted it on soundcloud and it had already gotten 12 listens!!! i could make a career out of it if i wanted to but i don't really want to. i just want my music to be about me, not corrupted by fame, thought erlich. his thoughts are cut off as the dark haired man whispers something to his mom who then screams for him to come down the stairs. "COME DOWN THE STAIRS RIGHT NOW!!!" she says. erlich takes a step forward but doesn't go down the stairs. he can still here x's beautiful voice coming from the speakers in his room and doesn't want to walk too far away or he won't be able to here it. erlich is still confused but he relaxes as he hears the familiar opening notes to moonlight. he will be okay as long as he has his bong in his hand and xxxtentacion in his ear. 

part 2

"Hello eric!!" says the man standing next to erlich's mom at the bottom of the stairs. erlich closes his eyes and then opens them but the man is still there. "why are you still here?" he asks, still standing at the top of the stairs. the man at the bottom of the stairs says "i am jian yang." erlich is even more confused. "bitch who asked??" says erlich in a sassy tone. "why the fuck are you in my mom's house?" the small man shrugs and says "i could ask you the same thing." his voice is very monotone and flat. erlich gets very mad at that statement and he charges down the stairs. "THAT'S RUDE I CREATED AVIATO I CAN LIVE IN MY MOM'S HOUSE IF I WANT!!! I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THE HOUSING MARKET IS AT AN ALL TIME LOW WITH THE CURRENT ECONOMIC CRASH!!!" erlich screams down at the little man, as he towers over him by a few feet and hundred pounds. jian yang replies "don't care didn't ask. plus i'm your new master." erlich's mom, kayleigh, decides that it is her time to butt into the conversation. she walks up to erlich dumps what's left in her bottle of vodka onto him and then puts her lit blunt out on his stomach. his shirt goes up in flames. erlich has had enough of his moms bullshit. he runs back up a few steps to the top of the stairs and then to the end of the hallway he jumps out the window that is on the small wall. "FOR AVIATOOOOO!" he yells as breaks through the glass and lands on the concrete outside, just barely missing a badass lamborghini with a closed black sun roof. jian yang turns to kayleigh and gives her $16.89. he asks "what is aviato?" kayleigh replies "fuck if i know." jian yang stands there and says "pleasure doing business with you, mrs. bachman." and then he walks out the front door and drags erlich's bruised body through a pile of glass to his bright red lamborghini. he says "i know you are not dead but you are very fat and ugly and i can't lift you into my lamborghini. get into the car by yourself." erlich does not respond so jian yang slaps him across the face and says "get up eric" and then erlich groans as he stands up, using the car  gets into the car. he is bleeding on the seats a little bit and there's some broken glass on his clothes that is scratching the lambo's fancy black leather seats with red accents. jian yang buckles erlich's seatbelt and childproofs his door and then he also gets in. "where are we going?" asks erlich. "surprise." says jian yang. "fuck you," replies erlich as he stares out of the car off into the distance where he can see the city and the mountains and a bright blue sky. i don't know what's happening, he thinks as he stares into the distance at the silicon valley landscape. he is still high.