Blazblue Postal Service

Chapter 1 by Alucard

BlazBlue Postal Service 03/27/2014

(Kagutsuchi)(Orient town)

Hakumen is flying over everyone on an Ice car while holding a package and listening to High Way to Hell while shaking his head to the music. Hakumen is wearing Susanoo's armor with a hat on his head that has his symbol on it with BBPS written across it. He "Drives" to a large building that has BBPS written in large Neon lights on it. He drives into what looks like a parking garage. He "Turns off" the music and spots Jin, who is wearing mechanic overalls. Jin is working on a Ice Car that looks like it was in a serious accident.

"Hey Jin did you let Tsubaki test that one!?" Hakumen yells across the garage.

"No it's a NISSAN and I let Nissan try to drive !" Jin yells back.

Hakumen continues on his way into the main mail place where Ragna is sorting mail.

"HEY BLACK BEAST!".

Ragna drops the mail he is sorting and the whole mail sorter collapses from the sudden surprise.

"I told you to stop calling me that!".

"Well maybe you should stop wearing black outfits everywhere".

Then Rachel walks by. She keeps an eye on Ragna.

"What in the world happened here?" Rachel asks in a calm demeanor.

"Ragna drops a single paper and the whole XXXX then came down" Hakuman says coldly.

"Oh you poor thing. Fix it" Rachel says with a smile on her face.

"Hakuman you son of a XXXXX XXX XXXX XXXXX" Ragna mumbles.

"Get to work".

"XXXX you Rabbit".

"I'm sure you would enjoy that too much".

In the other room Kokonoe is sitting at her desk with tons of candy surrounding her. Her screen is lit up with marketing stuff. Lambda is sitting playing with a strange worm.

"Let's see. The number one complaint on Bang is that all the letters and packages are soiled with green liquid and smell like sewer, huh maybe we should stop letting him run everywhere. The only complaint on Hakumen is... He scared my kid and gave my wife a heart attack. And for Tsubaki-wow 5000 different complaints mostly from her crashing her car into the ground and houses but nothing else" Kokonoe says to herself. Tager walks into the room wearing a maid outfit and he starts cleaning the floor.

Noel is sitting outside of the main office as the secretary. Bang walks into the room with her.

"Hello young man how are you?" Bang asks.

"How many times do I have to tell you I AM NOT A MAN!" Noel yells summoning Bolverk in its RPG form. She then unleashes a hell storm of rockets at Bang. Bang is nailed by each of the rockets and gets sent out a nearby window. Then Bang doesn't land on the ground but into a sewer and a splash of green liquid flies up to Noel. Lucky for Noel it lands short.

Bang is laying at the bottom of the sewer.

"Someone help!?" Bang yells.

But instead of help a person walking by with a lit cigar throws the cigar into the sewer detonating the methane gas.