Too Afraid To Love You

Chapter Three

"I'm not having sex with you again." I said in a low tone and staring down at my feet. And I truly meant it. I had no intentions of having sex with Happy again. He was arrogant and slightly frustrating. He bothers me when he wants to. That isn't exactly something I have in mind for myself. I've had casual sex before. I've done it a few times. But it wasn't something I planned to do now. I was 23. I was young. I want to enjoy casual dating. I want to go out and meet people. People who are interested in me the way I am interested in them. I wanted a real, true, authentic relationship. Not something that is casual. Not something that made me feel like shit afterwards. I want to be uplifted, not torn down. 

"Guess it's a good thing I'm not asking to" He said. I looked up at him confused. He isn't? 

He noticed my confusion and dropped his hand from my arm. 

"Look, what we had was cool. It was fun.  Exhilarating.  Whatever fuckin' dramatic shit bitches say" He began, "But since you have absolutely no intentions of leaving the garage and I'm sure as shit not going anywhere, I figured we could find a common ground."  

I stared at him confused. Common ground? What the fuck does he mean common ground? Noticing my confusion he rolled his eyes and began speaking again. 

"Friends, Hayley. I figured we could be friends." He said. 

Friends? Oh no. No, thank you! If being friends with Happy meant him threatening you with a welding torch I'd rather not. It was my turn to laugh. 

"What's so funny?" he asked frustrated. I stared at him while laughing. He can't be serious? How does he not see what's so funny? We can't be friends! It'd be awkward!

"We can't be friends"  I began "We are different people. We have different ways of thinking. Plus" I said looking around to make sure no one was around us. Happy stared at me confused. "We slept together!" I said in a loud whisper. 

"No shit we slept together" He said in what felt like his loudest voice.

"But if I'm willing to move passed the way you ride, you can do that shit too." He said. Oh my god he is exhausting! 

"Ok! Whatever!" I began "Just quit mentioning us fucking!" 

He laughed. 

"Sure. Now can we please go get your fucking shit. I am exhausted." He said 

I laughed. "Yeah, no. I'm not staying here." I said. Are you kidding? Of course I wasn't staying! There was no context as why I had to stay. Since there was no need to elaborate on why I needed to stay I didn't feel the need to. If the problem isn't presented to me then it doesn't concern me. 

Happy looked at me stupid. No- he looked pissed. His eyebrows pulled together. 

"What the fuck do you mean you aren't stayin? Jax said you needed to." He particularly yelled. 

I rolled my eyes. 

"Yeah, but he didn't tell me why-"

"He doesn't need to explain himself to you." He said cutting me off. 

"Sure, but if you're going to make me stay somewhere I would at least like some context as to why I need to." I said hinting for Happy to tell me what's going on. He looked at me like he understood and seemed to get more pissed off. 

"Look. There isn't much to tell. Shit is goin on. Things are going to get ugly. We are tryin to avoid anything happening to anyone that is within the club or works for the club" He began "And you work for club. Put two and two together, it's self explanatory. Now stop asking stupid questions and lets go get your shit." He says quickly grabbing my purse. I go to teach for it back and he pulls it away further. He digs in it and grabs my keys. 

"I'll drive." He says getting inside my truck. I grunt before stomping to the passenger seat and slamming the door behind me. I was irritated. He was annoying. And controlling. And did I mention completely sexy? It was even more annoying! 

The entire drive was silent. I didn't speak much. I only spoke when giving him directions to my house. I avoided all conversation and eye contact. Happy looked at me occasionally. But I focused most of my attention outside the window. I didn't have much energy to converse.  Happy was controlling. It showed. He must never be told no. He gets frustrated when things aren't done exactly when he asked. I wonder if it stemmed from something. 

We pulled into the front of my house and I sighed. I just want to sleep in my own bed. I don't want have to deal with Happy. Or the club. Or anyone for that matter. Today was hard already. Work has been kicking my ass. School has been kicking my ass. It was my last semester and I was just ready to get it over with. I was going to school for programing. It was something different. The field was intense and I enjoyed working my way around computers. It was something I picked up from my dad. I missed him. I should go visit soon. 

I opened the door and went up to the house. It was a dull beige color and the front door was a bright red. I liked the color scheme. It was generic with a pop of color. I opened the front door and began roaming around the house gathering everything I needed. I had just about everything and was about to go back outside to Happy, when I noticed him standing in my living room, looking at old photos hung up on my wall. The photos showed me when I was a teenager. I was riding my horse Pixie. She was white and beautiful. I loved her. I used to compete. It was something I enjoyed until the accident. Since then I haven't had much of an interest to get back into it. I used to train down at Texas where my dad lived. But I haven't been in so long. 

"You ride horses?" Happy asked breaking me from my thoughts. 

"Yeah," I said smiling. He looked over at me and noticed my sad demeanor. "I used to at least," I began "I don't do it anymore." 

"How come?" He asked genuinely curious. 

"Id rather not talking about it." I said quickly and grabbed my programming book off my kitchen table. 

"You ready?" I asked him. He nodded. Today felt so long and It was only 6. This day keeps dragging on. 

Arthurs Note: Hello! This is chapter 3? and I wanted to know if you guys wanted a bit of a longer book. Meaning longer chapters and more chapter (30 or so). That way you understand the characters better & there is more of a back story & the relationship gets to blossom more. Or would you prefer shorter chapters and a shorter book (10 or 15). Meaning there would be fewer characters and the storyline may seem a bit rushed. I just wanted to know everyones stand point. Also let me know if you're enjoying the story so far!! I haven't written in years so I hope it isn't something thats boring or uninteresting!!!! just let me know where everyone stands! Hope everyone is standing home and staying safe!!! also! let me know if you want me to update everyday or every other day like maybe 2 or 3 days out the week! have a great one! <3