Dreams..

She was beautiful. Slender frame, average height, Fair skin, light brown eyes, curly hair...The personification of what i expected my daughter to look like. Seems like i always had crushes on girls i couldn't have, but this woman i came to love in just a matter of weeks. Sounds silly i know, but when you get that feeling in your gut like when you havent eaten in a while everytime you see them its hard not to. I met her when she started a part time position at my job. My first glance at her felt like when you find a really rare glitch in a video game. Somthing you know everyone wants but because of the rarity no ones found it yet. Being timid by nature it took me about a week and half to finally approach her. A buddy of mine built up my confidence to approach her by saying we looked liked a good couple. This is the girl of my dreams, i thought to myself. What if she denies me? Without looking where im going i accidently bump into her. um.."Hey my name's JC.."(i reach out to shake her hand) "Hi, im Ashley".( She takes my hand and holds it for at least 3 seconds before shaking it.) After our handshake she smiles at me then walks to the exit door to go home. As she walks away i frantically think of a way i can continue talking to her. Hey Ashley?(i run up to her) "If you ever need any training in your area i can help. Ive been working here for a while". I say nervously." She smiles at me again and says "ok...will do". The glee that erupted from this interaction was unparalled. I slept well that night. Over the next few weeks our relationship grew better and better with us telling cheesey jokes to each other here and there, occasional flirting, you know, young stuff. We ate lunch together, helped in each others work areas, Hell, we even started hanging outside of work.(in a small group of friends admittedly). Is she as good as what she seems? I thought to myself. Am i lying to myself? In an attempt to quell the anxiety in my mind i walk over to her work area. I came up with a world class scsheme to get the girl of my dreams. (On the weekend i usually perform at an open mic to exercise my lyrical skills. If i were to invite her to my show maybe we can finally become more than friends). "Yo Ashley" I say confidently. "Im performing this friday night at the open mic. I was thinking i could pick you up and we can chill after. What you think? I ask.(Weirdly i wanted this space where i didnt know wether or not she wanted to be with me to last forever but it was time to crossover) She looked at me and paused. Her smile a bit artificial this time she looked down at my shirt and said"I would love to....except see i dont like rap...and besides if i did i dont think my man would like that..sorry ". (Immeadiately i could relate to why super villains in comics and manga became what they are. It was as clear as white liquor. I wanted everyone dead and wanted to be alone in the universe). Should i try and get some help? I uneasly thought to myself."Oh...ok" i say trying to pretend as if my whole world wasnt just evaporated. "Well does he like rap? You can invite him if you like". I say in an attempt to try and save face). "Haha he does actually. I'll ask him tonight and let you know" she said with a reassured expression. We exchanged a smiles and i walked away struggling to maintain sanity. Who was this guy? What kind of person is he? What does he posess that i dont? I spent a large portion of that night after work pondering how I could find out who this guy was without her knowing. It was 9pm on a tuesday night and I had roughly two days to get my answer. I decided to walk down to Forrest Hills (the open mic i usually perform at. It was a few blocks away from my apartment) to try and clear my mind for a bit. A few Soul singers perform as hours go by and my ive been feeding my alcoholism. Just as i was about to finish my last shot an older gentleman sits down at my table. He looked to be around 60 years old but from looking into his face you could tell he had been through a lot. His skin pale, a bit wrinkled but strangely enough his hair hadnt completely turned gray. "Problems child"? The man asked. "ahh..no sir. Im just relaxin after work....thanks for asking tho". I said with a slighlty slurred tone. "They call me Lucky". The man said while extending his hand over the table to me. "JC" i said accepting his gesture. The moment our palms touched i felt as if the temperature in the room had risen at least 10 degrees. "Son, if ive learned anything from life in my years its that life is pointless. Your friends leave you.....Your wife leaves you( he says while taking a drink from his ebony flask) hope and trust are fairy tales they teach ya early on to try and brainwash that fragile mind of yours. "But i never said i was having...." Its written all in ya face young man". The man said interrupting. ( I tried to come up with a another lie but the mans face told me he would see through it). "Just listen he said. The best way to find a solution to a problem is to become the problem itself. When you become the problem you learn all of its secrets and only when you fully understand the problem can you find your solution. (Luckys words made no sense to me but at the same time...made all the sense in the world). Lucky then stood up out of his chair and pulled out a stack of beige blank business cards. He wrote a number on one of them and slid it over to me in a slow manner. "Give me a call if ya ever need a bit of...enlightenment... JC" he said with a crooked smile. "Isnt this a business card? Why was it orginally blank, what kind of business do you do"? Lucky pulled out a pack of self rolled cigarettes from his front jacket pocket. He chuckled a bit, put one in his mouth and lit it. Lucky took a long drag that seemed like it would last forever and blow out the ivory smoke. "Business is my business" he said with a wise smirk. His words made me weary. "Drive safe young man" Lucky said with his back turned as he left the building. With my vision getting progressively blurry I sat at my table for an extra 10 minutes to try and get my head together. The Next morning I wake up with surprisingly no hangover. With no memory of when i left the open mic to go home Luckys words were still fresh on my mind. I get out of bed and check my pants from the night before to see if his card was still there. It wasnt. "hmm...guess i was just trippin". I say aloud. I notice i have to be at work in a little so quickly start getting ready. When i arrive at work i notice that Ashley is not in her work area. "Must be her off day" I mumble to myself. The rest of the day goes by relatively slow but before i know it im halfway through my shift. Seemingly out of nowhere I hear a loud voice calling from behind me. "Hey JC". I look over and see Ashley. But she wasnt alone. She was walking with a darker skinned guy whose build would inspire envy in any averave built male. His sloppy dreadlocks made me hate him even more. Without her even saying who he was I already knew. "Yooo whats up Ashley?" I say to try and keep up my happy facade. "Haha im good, I wanted to introduce you to my boyfriend. This is Dequan". Just the sound of his name made me upset inside. I reach out to shake his hand and he does the same. "Wuz good mane". He said in a condescending tone. I give him the head nod. We exchange greetings and Ashley fills Dequan in on the open mic invitation i gave her. "Dat soun like fun mane, we gon stop by afta i get offa work" Deqaun said with a straight face. "I think you guys are really gonna enjoy the show" i say with a big grin. "Then its setteld! Dequan and I will be front row...at yo show" Ashley says moving her arms in a rythmic manner with a giant smile. Normally a cheesey joke of this magnitude would make me cringe but for the sake of the moment I laugh it off. After we laugh they turn to walk away. "Nice meeting you Dequan" I yell over. Dequan ironically gives me the head nod back and walks away with his arm around Ashley.

Luckys words again clouded my head. Against my better judgement i sneakily follow them until they reach fornt doors of the building. As they get into Dequans car i notice it has an Autozone bumper sticker on the back. "That must be where he works" i thought to myself. I watch them drive off as if they were intentionally leaving with my happpiness. This was not a good day. The following day i spent listening to music to keep my creative vibe up. I went back and forth all day about what to do about Dequan. Strangley enough the word murder came to mind several times and not once did it seem taboo. Again a master plan had conspired in my head. Luckys words again played in my mind like a bad song you get stuck in your head. I had so many questions to ask, but his card was nowhere to be found. Before i knew it, it was nighttime and my mind was exhausted. I went to sleep in efforts to gain some energy for the following day, for it was the day of the open mic. Sleep was foreign concept to my body that night. After tossing and turning for what seemed like an eternity my alarm finally went off. I got dressed, got into my car and sat for a minute. Every good moral that had ever been instilled in me had now been slanted. As I crunk up my car I began reciting Luckys advice in my head over and over to convince myself what i was doing was right. I drove down to Autozone and parked out in the back. I had decided to wait on Dequan to get off work...so i could kill him. Hours passed and eventually Dequan got off work and got in his car. As he pulled off i followed him onto the freeway. With my legs trembling I press hard as ive ever pressed on the gas pedal and ram into Dequans car. Immeadiately it spun out and his car flipped over upside down into a ditch. Flames erupted from the engine and soon the enitre vehicle was engulfed in fire. Dequan was dead, along with my former life. I pressed hard on the gas again to escape the crashsite....and also the biggest decision of my life. I now arrive outside of Ashleys apartment. My phone rings .Its her. "Hey have you heard from Dequan? He isnt answering his phone and hes supposed to pick me up for your show" she said in a panicky voice. "Oh yeah, he told me to go ahead and pick you up, his boss is makin him stay later. Hes gonna stop by later". "oh...alright then". She said nervously. We hang up. After about 10 minutes she comes down to my car. I had never seen been more convinced that angels exist after seeing the way she looked that night. "You ready" Ashley said

With a cute grin. "More than ever" i say in complete glee. We drove away. The car ride there gave me the best feeling i had ever felt. I was alone with the woman i love and no one...not even Dequan could ruin it. We made jokes, sang songs you know...couple stuff. It made life worth living. When we arrive at the venue we part ways so i can go backstage and get ready. I rehearse my lyrics and motions without a hitch. The show starts. My name is called and i walk out to the stage. I began rapping my lines and my confidence soared through the roof. In the middle of my performance i notice Ashley recieve a phone call. Her face drops and her eyes began to water like streams of river water. She then slowly looks over at me...stares for a good 7 seconds and then lets out a scream that couldve been heard from two block away. My body now feels empty and cold. I feel as if she.....everyone knows what i did. From the door i see four policemen rush in. They approach the stage and point their guns at me. "FREEZE" yelled one of the officers. The crowd now becomes a crazed frenzy. Everyone is screaming. My mind is racing. NO....NO..SHE'S THE GIRL OF MY DREAMS!! I scream aloud. With all the chaos i notice a man laughing in the very back where i was sitting two nights before. Its Lucky. "HEHEHE WHAT DID I TELL YA KID? CANT TRUST NOBODY HEHEHE!!". Lucky Yelled. Just then i dropped to my knees and everything went black..No sound..No light. Just Black.......I wake up. It was all a dream. It Wednesday morning and im lying in bed. The morning after i met Lucky. I reach down for my shirt and wipe the excessive sweat from my forehead. At this moment i notice a card lying in my pants pocket. I pick it up to read it but instead i ball it up and throw it in the trash. I had become the ultimate problem in the dream and now it was time for me to find the soultion. I call Ashley and canceled the open mic plan. From that day forward i never put too much of myslef into anyone without fully knowing their intentions. And i also learned to be careful with dreams. Wether they come to you as Lovers, Premonitions or what have you. If you dont take the time to understand them...They'll wake you up...

FIN