Ours

scars

5 years later:
"Shouldn't have that just sitting out." clint says from the doorway focused on the pregnancy test nat has mindlessly stared at for years.
nat just looks at him with pain in her eyes;
he begins to walk in.
"you ever gonna tell him?"
she is still silent.
"nat it's been 5 years"
she finally speaks when he says that.
"exactly it's been 5 years....5 years clint and we haven't even found a lead on how to bring everybody back....why should i tell him when it will just cause him pain," she says, "I don't want him to feel like this." she said throwing her hands and looking down
"you still haven't talked about it...When you lost it."
"what's there to talk about." she replied still looking down
"The fact that almost everyday you come in here and look at that stick says there's something to talk about." he replied concerned, but then continued, "Nat you can trust me."
she looked up, "I know I can...but if I talk about that day, what it felt like I-." she stopped.
She took a breath and swallowed, "I'd start to cry...and I don't think I'd ever be able to stop Clint," she sniffles pausing and then asking, "You lost everything Clint. Why are you here?"
he looks down remembering his family, "You lost them too Nat, and right now...well right now you're all I have and I need you to be okay," he pauses, "...and we both know you're not." he says
Nat then looks between him and the stick.
"It was uhm- it was so fast it was like I had everything and then I didn't...and all I wanted to do was comfort them. I- I wanted to tell them it was gonna be okay and that I was sorry that I screwed this up too." she said holding back her tears.
"Don't blame yourself."
"Who else is there to blame?"
Clint then gets up and sits next to her grabbing her hands.
"Nat...this was not your fault you got that?." he paused to let her take it in, "you didn't do this."
"Then why does it feel like I did?" she said vulnerably.
"...We will get them back, okay?"
"How do you know?" she questioned.
"Because I have nothing else to live for."
3 months later
Steve and Nat were watching a movie, Marley and Me, and got talking,
"Do you ever want that?" Steve asked her.
"Want what?" she asked snuggled in his side.
"A simpler life, you know, away from all this." he clarified.
"Even if I did, then who would do this."
"Maybe it doesn't have to be done, Nat."
"That's easy for you to say. You can literally do anything you want and yet your here with me on a Friday night watching movies." she replied.
"Well, that's what I want. I wasn't just saying that to say it I was asking if you wanted it...with me?" he replied looking down at her.
She then looked up without a thought in her mind of what to say.
"Hear me out Nat. If we can't get everyone back, if we don't find a way, you and me can live out the rest of our lives somewhere and try and have some happiness; because you deserve happiness Nat."
"I can't give up on getting everyone back."
"Is there anything even left?"
"There has to be."
"I may sound like the worst person in the world saying this, but why?"
"Because there just has to be....can we just finish the movie...please?"
"Are you okay?"
"...yeah I'm fine."
"I'm sorry I brought it up."
"No don't be, I've just had a bad day."
Steve then unpaused the tv and they continued watching the movie with the tears and laughs that came along with it.
"Do you at least want a dog?" he asked after.
"After that? It'll take me years to even look at one." she laughed.
He laughed too, allowing each other to feel safe and happy for just a little while.