Too Afraid To Love You

Chapter Two

   Their Vice President, Jax, was in front of everyone. He was 6" tall, handsome, incredible blue eyes. Really, they were nice, like an ocean. Or the sky on a bright summer day. He always spoke to me with as much respect as a person of the club could. He didn't give me much trouble and we weren't close. He'd come into the office sometimes and ask if I saw his mom. Normally, I hadn't. So he'd usually tell me what they needed ordered and when they needed it by. Sometimes his tone was too harsh, other times he spoke too soft, almost like he was extremely tired. He's young. He has a lot of stress on him. I understood the feeling. On the days he seemed a bit too on edge, I'd get all my work done early and leave the office open for him. Sometimes he'd just go in there to relax, take an edge off. I didn't blame him, the club seemed a handful. But he seemed to rely heavily on Opie. Opie, Jax's best friend, was borderline a teddy bear. He was incredibly kind. He was well over 6", he has a long beard, one too many rings and wore the same beanie. every. single. day. Only one. I'm not sure if he had more than one or if the solid black was just his favorite. Nonetheless, he never went without it. Not even in the middle of fucking summer. I stared at his head. I know your head has to be hot under there, it's over 100 today. 

  The guys stood in front of me and I avoided Happy's gaze. I watched him from my peripheral. His eyes racked my body and he stopped at my heels. He raised an eyebrow but I ignored him. I fixated my gaze on Jax and offered a forced smile. 

"What's up? " I asked again a bit louder this time, trying to keep my nerves under control. I felt uncomfortable. Uneasy. I dropped my purse off my shoulder and placed it in front of my stomach holding it with both hands. My hands slightly started to shake and Happy noticed. I gripped the straps of my purse harder until my knuckles turned white. I formed a small smile. 

"Everything okay?" I asked once more. "I finished my work a bit earlier today. I thought I'd go ahead and head home early. If that's okay? There isn't much else for me to do." I added. I glanced back and forth between Opie and Jax. I didn't bother looking at Happy. He was just staring at my hands. 

"Yeah, of course I don't mind " Jax said. 

Thank god.

"Well, normally I don't, but" He began 

Oh no! Please don't say but! 

"We kind of have some stuff going on. We really need to keep everyone on the compound, you included." He said. I looked at him confused. I have to stay? 

"Is there any paperwork I may have missed? or do I have to fill out extra orders for you guys?" I asked unsure why I had to stay. Normally I'm not one to question my boss. I just wanted to be sure I hadn't screwed this job up. I was trying my best. 

"No, you did everything you needed to do. We just have some confrontations. We wanted everyone close and near by, make sure everyone stays safe. Family and friends have to stay on the compound. At least for a few days." He said quickly. Family? Friends? I was just the staff. why do I need to stay? 

" I have to stay? Here? Overnight?" I asked. He nodded his head. "For days?" I asked in disbelief. He nodded again. 

"I know it's what you want. But with everything going on it's in your best interest if you stayed." He said. I didn't respond. I just stared at him. 

"I don't have any clothings or my toothbrush." I told him. I wasn't trying to be confrontational, I just wasn't understanding. 

"It's okay" He said "you can go to your house to get some stuff. Happy is your escort, he'll take you and bring you back." 

I stared at him. I didn't even blink. I knew my mouth was slightly open because I heard Opie chuckle low and Happy had a shit eating grin placed on his lips.

"Happy?" I asked in disbelief. Jax nodded. "Happy?" I asked one more, just to be sure. Once again, Jax nodded and smirked. 

I finally looked at happy and he was chuckling. He found this amusing. 

"Him?" I was Jax once more. This can't be. I've avoided him for a week. Why does it have to be him? Why can't it be the nice prospect who always smiles at me and tell me good morning every day. 

"Babe, it's me. Get over it. Can you stop asking him questions and can we please go pick up your shit from your house? I've had a long day. I want to rest." He said to me. He sounded hostile. But there was a hint of amusement in his voice. I stared at him. I didn't even speak. I shifted my weight and glanced at Jax. 

"Can't I just stay home?" I asked once. I really didn't want to stay here. Let alone be around Happy. I didn't want to see him. I just wanted to avoid him. I wish by some miracle god to just smite me. Right now would be perfect! Amazing even! I just didn't want to be in this situation. 

"Sorry darling" Jax began "but not today. If things are okay in a few days then sure. Just not right now" He told me and gave me a soft smile. I stood there and sighed. I REALLY  didn't want be around Happy. or his club. or near his presence. I didn't want to able to see how good he looked in his cut. or the way he jeans hung low on his hips. or how he looked way too amused today. or think about how fine he looks on his bike. I just wanted to eat my weight in ice cream and cry over Patrick Swayze and his amazing dance moves. 

"Okay." I said softly. "I'm going to head to my place and get some stuff." I told Jax. He shook his head and offered me a soft smile. I returned it. 

"Go ahead and head out. Lock downs in 30." Jax told Happy. Happy nodded at him before turning his attention back to me. This is the first time we've looked at each other in some time. He looked tired. His eyes looked angry and sad all at once. I wonder if he's been in hell like I have. I haven't slept much since our last meeting. Maybe he's been the same. 

 Opie and Jax began walking away. Opie patted Happy on the back. 

"Go easy on her." Opie spoke low in Happy's ear. 

"Easy? Never that." Happy said. The guys left. It was just Happy and me. I shifted my weight and looked away from him. 

"So" He began. I turned my attention back towards him

 "We fuckin' in my bed or yours?" He said and smiled.

 He actually smiled. 

This fucker....