1989, a concept

xiii

part i, we begin our story in new york

"Welcome to New York" is light and excitement. Many are intimidated by her, yet everyone longs to make her their home. But she won't open up to just anyone; you have to earn your right to know her. Through her heartbreaks and success and losses and gains and adventures, she's built a life she's proud of. But maybe it's about to come tumbling down.

part ii, there once was a girl known by everyone and no one

Everyone thinks they know her, but few are right. The rumors swirled around so much, spun a story of someone she never wanted to be, that eventually that's who she had to become. Her life moves so quickly even she can't keep up with it. Dolled up in black lace and red lipstick, she falls fast, hard, and often, opening up her heart to anyone who promises to stay for the weekend. Or maybe forever.

part iii, her heart belonged to someone who couldn't stay

All she wants is anything that promises to be something. Flying through lovers faster than a car speeding through the black night, she knows she's not the only one that's been in this passenger seat lately. But this is who she is, and why bother changing when it's never worked out otherwise? She is fun. She is freedom. Who wouldn't want her?

part iv, they loved each other recklessly

Freedom comes with a price. It all moved too fast and the fears she tried to ignore for so long came back to haunt her, old terrors appearing in her rearview mirror. Mascara streaks running down her previously perfect made-up face, destroying the perfect image she had created for herself. She one lived in colors, red love becoming orange warnings fading to yellow caution, a false alarm of green calm leading to the saddest blue deepening to a purple she wasn't quite sure how to be proud of. But now it's faded. And so is she.

part v, they paid the price

She wanted to stay, but she's never been one who stays. Some reason or another caused her to leave, even though the voice in her head screams at her to stay. She feels like a mess now, broken pieces scattered all over the floor that she keeps stepping on, adding more scars to the pile on her shattered heart. It could've been so simple. But that's not how you learn.

part vi, she danced to forget him

Rumors lead to more rumors. No matter what she does, it seems there's a new one every night, from someone pretending they know who she is based on one story or conversation. She does her best to pay it no mind, instead making her own soundtrack as she goes about the life she's built for herself. It's lonely and she's looking for something new to make it otherwise, but it's hers.

part vii, he drove past her street each night

You can't find something new until you say goodbye to the old. She longs for what she once had, even though what it was is not what it will ever be. She regrets her choice to turn away, to pretend she didn't care as much as she did. But that's what's gotten her hurt before and she can't let it happen again. She still wishes on stars, hoping for another chance at a happy ending.

part viii, she made friends and enemies

But happy endings don't dome without a lot of trial and error. Sometimes you trust the wrong people, and it ends up giving you more scars when you thought it was healing them. So much betrayal can make a woman hard. She feels broken beyond repair. Shiny becomes dull, strong becomes weak. Did it have to go so deep?

part ix, he only saw her in his dreams

She began living through her dreams. What wasn't real couldn't hurt her. As the sun fades so does reality, setting her up for another adventure, creating something that'll end as just a memory, blurring the line between fiction and reality. Maybe it's pretend, maybe it's familiar, maybe it's exactly what she needs to become okay again, comfortable in her own self.

part x, then one day he came back

But the rain isn't done just yet. Ghosts from her past are still there. Healing isn't linear, and there's more than one shot at happiness when you're learning how to love again. The broken pieces that once cut her are being put back together. She won't be picture perfect ever again. But perfect isn't real, and it's not worth waiting for or working for if it's not real.

part xi, timing is a funny thing

It's hard to know when it's right, when it's real. Sometimes you just have to hope for that. And hidden in the ethereal hopes for her future is freedom, perhaps with her love by her side. The one challenge is getting your heart in just the right place as the other's. That's where she struggles. Keeping her heart safe has been all she knows for so long, but just when she wasn't expecting the return it proved to be just what she needed.

part xii, and everyone was watching

How do you keep a fragile thing safe? It has to be kept hidden, safe, away from the weight of the world where cruel truths and comforting lies can't hurt it. But something can't flourish when it's hidden away. Being locked away can be good for some time. It can give you the space you need to heal, but before too long the fear of being found out can hurt the healing. She was never meant to be hidden away. She was meant to thrive.

part xiii, she lost him but she found herself and somehow that was everything

Back and forth, forth and back, start to finish, finish to start. Present and past all blurring together, creating a haze that reminds her of everything she's overcome. Surviving wasn't easy. Looking around at the former mess that surrounded her, that enveloped her, she realized all along she didn't need some great outside love to heal her, to help her, to love her. She could do that all on her own. The only one she ever needed to love her, was herself.