Vents~

I am currently in my bed- and im writing about vents..so..yeah-

(Vent)
I enjoy being alone! But sometimes i just need someone to talk to. Physically. I miss my s/o, my friends...i feel like- im not there anymore..
Friends that i used to talk to everyday..they're gone

Soo, how do i fill the empty void? Drawing, listening to music or watching videos.

I know im not a "social" person, but (in my opinion) i'm a great friend.

I don't wanna have any suicidal thoughts or anything- but...i kinda wanna banish and see if people care afterwards.

1st week of me gone will be 'Sad'
2nd week people won't even realize im gone
And thats how it works.

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I realized over time how lonely i really am. I spend a lot of time on my phone because of it and its really bad for me.
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I wanna ☠️
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"It's just a phase" f🚫k you. Is that a phase?! Me thinking about death and how im not good enough, is that a phase to you?!
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No, I won't c🚫t myself. Why? That's painful. And there should be no reason to c🚫t yourself. I'm just impatiently waiting for death to knock on my door and take me.
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I would never ever talk about these things to my parents if it kills me.
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I am a very impatient person, and sometimes, that hurts and the last thing i wanna do is hurt someone i love. And i think i already have..
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I've always dealt with trust issues and social anxiety when i was little, so that mostly damaged the way that i viewed people-