What's a 'Dovahkiin?'

Chapter 1: By Talos... (edited)

It was an icy day in Skyrim, which was more or less normal. For the Dovahkiin, however, it was just another damn challenge she would be forced to face.

Snow gently drifted around Eolyn as she continued down the path away from her cosy home, her white, very lacking armour not helping at all. She grumbled slightly as she jogged along, more than reluctant to complete her chosen quest. She was bored beyond belief of her life of completing insignificant quests for entirely emotionless people. Honestly, sometimes it was like she was the only one with free will in this damn place.

Brushing her aforementioned reluctance aside, she headed on down to Whiterun, where Farkas had commanded her to do a job for him the day before. Yeah, she could've done the job when she was actually there, but then that would mean waiting for the bastard to leave his house in the morning to begin another day of irritating anyone within a 5 meter radius. Eolyn had to admit, she would enjoy teaching this guy a lesson, even if it meant boredom throughout the whole journey. And the whole way back. And the whole time she would be fighting him. Damn, her life was boring.

Fortunately (or possibly, unfortunately) for her, Sanguine was in her debt. And the Daedric Prince of Debauchery and Douchebags was a man of his word. Sometimes.

With Eolyn continuing to jog down the path, and sometimes through the wilderness, Sanguine made his sudden appearance.

Eolyn had readied her weapon, sure that she heard a rustle behind her, when a voice screeched cheerfully in her ear.

"Hello, Dragonborn!"

"BY BLOODY TALOS-"

The daedra snickered. "Language, friend. Wouldn't want you tarnishing your perfect reputation now, eh?" The Nord was wholly unimpressed by Sanguine's bull, so she continued on her way, muttering desperate prayers to Talos as she jogged along. She had a job to do and by the nine was she going to do it. Sanguine was having none of that.

"Not so damn fast. I owe you a favour, and I reckon that today, while you wallow in the depths of your boredom, I will make us even." he chuckled, after stepping in front of the Dragonborn who was more than keen for him to leave. "I have decided that you, you moping grouch, are going on a better adventure. More specifically, in another world. Sound fun?"

"Sanguine, I'm sorry but I don't trust you one bit. Remember last time you said that, and I ended up stuck in the soul cairn with Serana's mother for three weeks?" Eolyn replied, exasperated.

Sanguine smiled knowingly. "That was revenge. Now, you don't really have a choice, so I'd recommend you either go and pack up your items of worth to get yourself some money in your new home or I will simply cart you off."

Eolyn had experienced some... difficulties with daedra. Ergo, she wasn't going through with this creature's plans, and made to walk away. Her mistake, sadly. Without a second glance, Sanguine summoned all of her items, threw them carelessly into her inventory, and sent her by Daedric portal to her deat-

Kidding, kidding. He sent her to much, much worse.

Tony Stark, also known as 'massive jerk' was lounging in his abnormally large living room, at three o'clock in the morning. He wouldn't normally do this, but Steve had been pestering him for days to get out of his workshop and take a rest. He had alcohol, obviously. It was the only reason he even agreed.

"Tony, do you know if Thor is meant to be coming back today?"

Tony jerked up, and turned his head to the soft voice he heard from the door. Clint stood there, a confused frown on his face. Stark hadn't even noticed he was there.

"Point-Break isn't meant to be coming back for a few months. Why, Leggy? I thought you were at that meeting? You aren't skiving, now, are you?" Stark says, a smirk gently forming on his face at Clint's frustration." Clint frowned more.

"I was allowed to miss the meeting today, because I just got back from the mission. It's just, uh, this kind of storm usually only happens when Thor is opening up the Bifrost or whatever it's called. It's the only storm that doesn't really scare me, so trust me I can tell. I wanted to know if Thor was here because I wanted to give him that 'Hammer Time' t-shirt." Oh. Tony had forgotten about Clint's fear of storms. He didn't really mention it often, and he always seemed fine whenever Thor sent thunder crashing down. Brushing it aside, Tony invited Clint to take a seat, and began to brainstorm (ha) what the cause of the storm could be. Clint could only pray it wasn't Loki.

Not two minutes after Barton sat down, a dark, evil-looking purple portal appeared, and with a soft 'fwoosh' a beautiful woman appeared, lying on the floor with a very disgruntled expression on her face. Tony called his suit instantly, because this thickhead loves to threaten everyone he doesn't know. Like that won't backfire one day. The Dovahkiin, obviously, shouted at them, fus-ro-dahing those bastards... nowhere. Huh. That usually worked.

Eolyn then looked upwards, infinitely more confused, as all three of them heard what sounded like the Greybeards calling her name, like they had when she killed her first dragon. Ah, good times. Oh Talos, you should've seen the look on that guard's face when she absorbed that soul. Oh, and it was priceless seeing how shocked that one housecarl looke-

"Hey Katniss... what's a 'Dovahkiin?'"

"Not a damn clue."