RISQUÉ RIDDLES
Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.
Q. What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball
Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick!
Q.Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it!
Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.
Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.
Q.What is the difference between "ooooooh"and "aaaaaaah"?
A. About three inches.
Q. Why do gay men wear ribbed condoms?
A. For traction in the mud.
Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.
Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.
Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.
Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 pounds.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A. The swallow.
Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.
Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A. They don't have balls to scratch!
> > A husband was asked: Do you talk to your wife after sex?
> > His answer: Depends, if I can find a phone.
> > ===========================================
> > Why was the 2-piece bikini invented?
> > To separate the meat section from the dairy section.
> > ===========================================
> > Boy 1: why did you run away from the naked lady?
> > Boy 2: because my mom said that if I look at a naked lady I
> > will turn to stone, and a part of me was already getting hard!!
> > ===========================================
> > Three guys were introduced to a girl:
> > Hi, I'm Peter not a saint. I'm Paul not a Pope. I'm John not a
> > Baptist.
> >The girl replied: Hi! I'm Mary not a virgin.
> > ===========================================
> > OLD MAN: Can you give me an erection?
> > FAITH HEALER: I can make the blind see, make the lame walk
> > and I can even cure cancer, but I'm sorry I cannot
> > Raise the dead.
> > ===========================================
> > Two employees were caught naked and having sex in the
> > Office by the guard.
> > GUARD: Aha! Violating company rules!
> > MAN: What rule?
>> GUARD: Not wearing uniforms.
> > ===========================================
> > Q: What is the difference between Biology and Sociology?
> > A: If the baby looks like the father, that is biology. If he looks
> > Like the neighbor, that's sociology.
> > ===========================================
> > Define Impotence?
> > Nature's way of saying "NO HARD FEELINGS"
