trash
kindly read this just for urself, in the evening, while playing the song "somebody that i used to know by gotye ft. kimbra" (of course if u just have it on ur phone tho) in the quite if ur room.
this always happens, staring at the dark side of the room, to the brighten ceiling, from the open window, to the brightest star, and the blackness of the wall.
there are things that are always be seen and feelings, that are still left hanging.
from the thirteen year old me, up to womanhood of my stage, the features, the breathing, the tone, the wrinkles, and the blush on ur face still lingers on my young mind.
our story was like a dream, and/or a fairytale of some ugly-chick at the outside of the palace of a prince in his heart.
he's not ugly, and so am i, but he's the soldier of the ugly-chick, fighting those bully armed on the battlefield.
no, i am not like this, i already picture the story of us in my mind, and creating another one is hellish, nope, sorry it was foolish, actually, the first term was nothing, the later is the definition.
from wine, to beer, to vodka, freak! there's no effect like amnesia, the hippocampus can't even forget even just a night.
i could even had a bunch of flings (n still countin tho), but seeing u w/ roses, made my heart surrounded w/ thorns. ur smile from ear to ear, breaks the wall even more.
it sounds dramatic, and it feels so desperate, but from north to the side of u, still, a wall like me will never seen.
i wish to be gone for a day, to weeks, to months, to years, and to nowhere.
writing a song sounds cliche, but look at me now, i have a tons of lyrics about us, oops! im sorry, its actually just for u. and sharing our story is more of being ridiculous too.
i pity for being w/ me as a friend, u never learn or experienced things.
at the second day of the first month of a new coming decade, i'm writing to u the things that were left untold, being left at the middle of nowhere is the most painful thing (from the time that i needed a friend like u, no one showed up, guess it'll be like this), u, wishing me to end up with others is the second (im not a thing engineer, and now i feel like one), and never showing up on my special day is the last, i was waiting for ur message, i was even waiting for the closure (as for us being a bestfriend?? before tho), but why can't u just give me that?
anyway, even a friend told me this, "its ur day, and there's no reason on why he couldn't be here, if he really treats u as a friend or even the thing that u insist as 'bestfriend', he'd be here", and i guess they're right, another point of me being stupid, aight?
i even wait for the greetings at the end of the month, alright!
i'll call myself stupid even more, doin the same old fucking thing for the nth time, and this would probably the last.
i wish to never see u again, hear ur name, nor see things that would remind me of u. don't be mistaken, i'm not angry, i'm just hurt.
i'm writing to u bcos i wanna say the last few words from my brain, don't feel guilty, i just want to be completely free from hatred.
still, i wanna thank u for the lessons, the experience, and the memories that are soon to fade away, i wish u all the best, change for the best, be a good person from then to now, and for the next century, be kind always, not only for the asshole-human-specie, and also for the environment.
until the last drop of my ink.
i wish to finally forget u wholeheartedly the way i disappeared from ur precious mind.
