Under the Influence

Chapter 8

"You and me both."

"So what are you gonna do?"

"Um I'm going to have this baby in about 5 months."

"Dya know what it is?"

"Does it make a difference?"

"No, I was just wondering."

"Listen. I get it. You were lonely, you messed around with me and now you don't want anything to do with the baby. I don't want to ruin your life Noel, I just thought you should know."

"You're wrong."

"About?"

"I wasn't just lonely. I liked being with you."

"Well it doesn't really matter anyway cuz you're married."

"Yeah. It's a bit complicated."

"Yeah it is, so just go home to her and I will be fine."

"What if I don't want to."

She looked at him and he was looking at her.

"What, you're going to leave her and stay with me?"

He sighed.

"I dunno."

"Well maybe you need to figure out what you want."

She stood up and went to open the door but he reached out and grabbed her hand. She looked down at him.

"It's not easy for me. I thought I loved me wife until I fucking met you."

He pulled her down into his lap. He slowly leaned in and kissed her. She closed her eyes and kissed him back.

Then she pulled away.

"No. You can't do this. You can't just waltz in here and kiss me and then disappear again until you feel like showing up again." 

She stood up and so did he.

"Do you think that's what I want?"

"What do you want?"

"I want you!" he blurted out.

"What about your wife?"

He shook his head and looked at her.

"I dunno."

"So just go."

"What about the baby?"

"We'll be fine without you." She shrugged.

He looked at her and shook his head.

"Fine. If that's what you want."

He turned and left and Val sat on the couch and cried. She calmed herself down and wiped her eyes. She was about to go to bed when there was a knock on the door. She opened the door and saw Noel standing there. Her heart started beating fast. A part of her was happy he had come back. She stood there in the doorway staring at him. He stared back then took a step closer. He looked into her eyes and said quietly, "I'm sorry."

He hugged her and she hugged him back. She closed her eyes and breathed in his scent. She never wanted to let go. A tear fell from her eye. He pulled away and she looked at him. He wiped the tear from her cheek.

"I don't know what the fuck to do Val."

"I don't either, but I'm terrified of having this baby."

"Me too."

"Why? You don't have to actually have it."

"Cuz, me old man was a cunt. What if I'm the same?"

"What did he do?"