My Dearest James

5

Steve looked up from the document he'd been reading, and quickly noticed the unease emanating from his brother.

"Drink?" he offered, getting up to pour himself one.

"No, I just... I gotta get this out before I lose my nerve."

"Alright, what's wrong?"

"I'm marrying Nat," he said, taking a seat in the chair opposite Steve's.

Steve froze for a moment, but forced himself to relax before Bucky took notice. "It's not set in stone," he said. "Buck, if you're not sure, you could always come home and-"

"No! I mean, that's not what's wrong. I'm trying to move forward, move on, but I can't do that if I'm clinging to the past."

Steve stopped mid sip. He had a feeling he wasn't going to like where the conversation was going. "How do you propose to do that?"

Bucky fidgeted with his hands, and Steve reached across the desk to stop him. Bucky shut his eyes, releasing a shaky breath as he met his brother's eyes.

"I need to get rid of it. All of it."

"Did you think this through?"

Bucky cleared his throat and nodded. "I just need it gone."

"Why didn't you do it already, then?" Steve asked. He set his drink on the table and moved to kneel beside Bucky. "If you're so sure, why are you here talking about it?"

Bucky's body began to shake, prompting Steve to grip his shoulder in an effort to provide comfort.

"I can't."

"Well," Steve sighed, taking in the agonized look on Bucky's face. 'Then maybe you shouldn't,' he was about to say, but thought better of it. "Alright, Buck. If that's what you need, I'll do it."

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

You buried your face into Winter's soft fur, attempting to drown out the noise that threatened to pull you from sleep.

Rustling, soft cursing, and water being poured into who knows what won out. You stretched and yawned, briefly wondering how long you'd slept.

"Wakey wakey."

You didn't recognize the voice, bolting upright on your cot to face the intruder in Bruce's tent. It was the man from earlier.

"What are you doing?" you asked, watching as he pulled a shirt out of Bruce's bag.

"Cleaning up for dinner. You should get up if you're going to eat."

You watched him peel his shirt off and reach for a washcloth in the nearby basin. Though his physique was rather impressive, you looked away in embarrassment as he began to clean himself of the day's dirt and sweat.

"I mean what are doing in here?"

"This is my tent."

"What?" you spun around, eyes landing on his tanned chest. "No, this is Bruce's tent."

The man chuckled, wringing water from his cloth and continuing to wash. "Sorry, angel face, Dr. Banner's tent is one over."

You grabbed your shoes, putting them on as quickly as you could. "Oh my god, I'm sorry!"

"It's alright."

"How long have I been asleep? You should've woken me! I'm so sorry!"

The cot dipped beside you, and he took your hand. You were met with a pair of amused, brown eyes and a charming smile.