how can I

Amber's side of the story 2

I did not notice I've been zoning out with my own thoughts for a while now until Jackie called my attention in front of me. Were currently having our dinner at a restaurant near the hotel were staying at.

"hey amber are you ok??..Yoona's been calling your attention for a minute now..what's wrong?"

I raised my head to where the voice of my sister is coming from and said im okay..and thats when someone held my hand tight from my right side and I know it was Yoona. I turned my head to her direction and smiled at her and mouthed i'm sorry. I knew she smiled back at me as she lightly squeezed my hand in her hand. Yes I'm blind now..Krystal doesnt know anything about this because it was my request to my family not to tell her about it. It's been a year and half with this condition and this girl beside me never left my side eventhough i can't give her back the love she deserved like how she loves me but I gave her the love for friend instead and treated her special.I made things clear the moment she confessed to me that I can only love her as a friend and that I dont deserve someone like her..that she deserves someone better not me who's heart belongs to a past and that "past" will become somebody's "future" tomorrow..She kept her promise..to find someone better than the jerk like me.She's getting married tomorrow and she even invited me to come and witness their wedding through my cousin Donghae who's currently in a relationship with her sister. He refused to tell me at first untill I heard his conversation with my sister on the phone that Krystal is getting married soon and that she wanted me to be there. I was'nt shocked at all because I know she deserves to be happy..I was about to step backwards until I bumped unto a chair near me and came crashing down with the chair and that was when Jackie's attention turned to me and I heard her gasp and ran towards me to help me up but I shove her hands away and nearly shouted at her when she insisted to help me..

"I said i'm ok..I can manage myself..Jackie it's just my eyes that doesnt work..it's just my eyes that couldnt see but I can feel whenever your hiding something from me.. " i stood up and before i went out of her room i told her...."tell Krystal i'm happy for her..and that i'll be there on her wedding day"

"amber please..dont do this to yourself,you've suffered enough"---jackie

"No sis..I told you already i'm okay and i can manage myself that eventhough it hurts to fall down I always mange to stand up on my own right?..haha c'mon jackie it's all in the past now..let me handle this on my own now..ok?"

"ok then if that's what you want..but in one condition and I wont take no for an answer."---jackie

"ok..what is it?"

"Yoona and I will come with you back to Korea"---jackie

"o----okay.." my voice almost cracked..I turned around and rushed to my room as fast as I could so Jackie wont see me breaking down..I sat on my bed and covered my face with my hands and that's when I cried out all that I felt inside. I just can't keep it inside anymore..I should be happy now that I now she's happy right?..it is what I wanted in the first place..I'm totally out of her life..I told myself it's too late to regret everything now..but if only I told her everything earlier about my illness..it's not that I did not tried to reconcile with her a few weeks after our break-up because I did after I talked to my bestfriend Key and told him everything that happened when he found out about our break-up. He made me realize things that I was too dumb to see..I curled up in my bed as I start to remenisce those days.......

2 years ago...

"you are so stupid ambro!!..of all people it's her amber..it's her who could've understand you..of all people it must've been her you told about first about your condition because she has the right to know"--key shouted at me. He paid me a visit since I did not go for work the whole week and not even answering their calls and that was when he saw how I looked like..