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Lost love

My love so tender and dull, his gaze lost to the wind, within the bed that he cannot leave. He lost everything. His thoughts, dreams, hopes, and memories. The memories of our lives. His job of protecting the people leaving him unprotected. The betrayal from his own coworkers that let him take the bullets. I lost the man I had onced married. The man whose words after he woke up in the hospital to see me were ”Who are you?” The words that pierced like a knife. A dagger that has no restraints.

“Honey I-I’m Skylar y-your Wife. Do you remember m-me?” I cry hoping that he was trying to trick me. That he was just trying to scare me and find a way to make a brighter day filled with our happiness. That he would just burst into laughter before he embraced me into a tight hug, but my hopes were just hopes. There was no laughter, no warmth, and not a glimpse of happiness. All that filled the room was the staggering silence wrapping my soul in the lingering sadness engulfing the hospital. The cold crisp winter air sending shivers down my spine. “Are you sure I’m your husband? To be perfectly honest, I'm not entirely sure who I am.”

“You don't? David please this really isn't funny. Laugh smile do anything please, I can't go through this please , please, I'm begging you!” I cry out frantic as I walk towards him. “I knew that you would get hurt one day. I knew that I might lose you, but you promised me that you'll come home to me every night. You promised me that you'll meet me at the church! That we'll renew our vows! That we'll finally see our kids come back home! Why was this the day that you were hurt!” I snap grabbing his shirt collar before the white door bursts open revealing a young nurse, her blue shirt that seemed too big and her pants that fit her waist. “Mrs. Evence let go of him!” she yelled, running to his bed side across from me. My emotions got the best of my judgment. I let go and back up till my knees hit the chair causing me to fall into its hard frame before trying to calm down beginning to stare at them with fear of hurting them with another outburst. “Mr. Evance would you like her out of the room?” the nurse asks, beginning to examine his neck for swelling or bruising.

“N-no that won’t be necessary.” she looks at me then back to him before, hesitantly,  making her way out. “Skylar I-I’m sorry to hear what you have to go through. I'm sorry that I put you through all of that suffering, but I don't even know you. I don't even know who or what I am to anyone anymore. I wish that I could help you but I just don't understand anything. Why don't I know anything? Why am I here? Why did you hurt me? Why can't I remember anything? Why?” His words were so different. His voice was different. Though his heart was still there. Worrying about others before himself. Though his personality was intact, his thoughts were altered. His voice was now an echoing noise that no longer had meaning. A bone chilling sound that stopped my cries. It left me feeling absolutely nothing. The man in front of me was not David. He is not the loving person I once knew. Although he still is David. “I’m so sorry, I really didn’t want to ever hurt you. I never wanted to do anything that could harm you. I lost control because I couldn't lose my David, not now, but I lose him a little more every time I hurt you. I promised you that I won't ever worry about you. Look at me now, I’m losing my mind thinking that you left me,”tears begin to trickle down my cheeks once again “ Isn’t It just funny? I’m getting mad that you broke your promise when I’m breaking mine."

There was a knock on the door, breaking my heart, before a voice so familiar makes me sob “ May we come in?” Our son, who didn’t know what to expect, opens the door. “Hi daddy!” My daughter, Ruby,  says as she pushes past, her brother, Ryan.

“Hello?” David says confused as to why our daughter hugged him.

“Hi Mr. And Mrs. Evance” our future daughter in law, Katie, says offering a hand to me. Showing off David’s great great great grandmother’s Diamond engagement ring.