Dead Reckoning - A Gregorio del Pilar x Reader story

XLV - Énouement

Sometimes, Death isn't so forgiving; but for him, I hoped that he'd been an exemption. After all, he'd been dancing with Death for quite some time already before Tirad.

But what really breaks me the most is upon seeing the calmness on his face. Never have I seen such a soldier's face that accepting with Death. And surely, in my dreams, the next time I am to close my eyes in the darkness another time, I'll be haunted by the peacefulness of his expression. If only I will be able to, knowing that leaving this world will be the end of my own.

"(Y/N)," Enteng calls for me softly, gently touching my shoulder as I look back at him.

I notice the folded paper he is handing to me right now, and along with it, had been the familiar ring still looped on its chain. No mark of blood stains the paper or even the ring, an indication that it hadn't been on his very possession the time he died.

"Pinaabot ni Goyo," he explains, shuddering a little at the mention of the name. "Sinabi niya na ibigay ko sa iyo kapag nagkita tayo. Kinuha ng mga Amerikano ang iba niya pang mga gamit, pero... ito. Inabot niya ito sa akin bago pa magsimula ang labanan."

I shakily take the letter and the necklace from him, mumbling my thanks to him.

He kneels next to me, and gulps in hard as if the next words he'll be saying are too heavy. "Isa pa, (Y/N)..." He blinks away the tears that are threatening to fall from his eyes. "K-Kailangan na namin siyang ilibing. Ilang araw na ang nakalipas."

I nod, interrupting him from speaking any more words. "N-Naiintindihan ko. Kahit papaano... nakita ko siya. Sa huling pagkakataon." I turn back to the corpse and brushes the few strands away from his forehead, leaning closer to press my lips on his forehead as a gentle tear trail down my cheek. I remember that time that he left, leaving me alone with a kiss just the same way. Pulling an inch away, I murmur under my breath, "Paalam, Goyong."

Holding the letter and the necklace in one hand, I wipe away the tears from my eyes as I stand. Stepping away, the two then focus on attending in burying the corpse. About ten steps back, controlling more tears to flow, I turn away from them. To the extent of even leaving them as I head back to the place of the third trench.

On my walk back, I notice the discarded tricolor flag of black, blue and red—Goyo's flag. I didn't hesitate to remove it from its pole and shake the dirt off it. With a little struggle, I fold it properly and keep it close to me. I draw closer to the remaining strong fortification of the trench—stones placed after another to serve as protection, and slowly sit on a nearby huge boulder. I wonder how many have died, but knowing the count will only give me the casualities that could've been saved otherwise. How to, I don't know.

Sighing heavily with tears gone, I place the folded flag on my lap and above it had been the necklace. Then, I focus to the letter, easing the creases as I unfold it. The letter written in a little messy but readable handwriting of Goyo's.

               Mahal kong (Y/N),

               Unang-una sa lahat, patawarin mo ako na sa ganitong pamamaraan lamang ako may lakas ng loob para sabihin ang lahat ng aking mga nais ipagbigay-alam sa iyo. Ang iyong mga katanungan sa akin bago pa natin akyatin ang Tirad ang nagbigay-daan sa akin upang alamin ang mga kasagutan na hindi ko lubos-isipin na gumagambala rin sa akin. At ang tanging masasabi ko sa lahat ng iyon ay... tama ka.

               Ayaw kong maalala lang sa pangalan. Gusto kong maalala bilang isang ideya. Na sa paglipas ng panahon, magagawang makalimutan ng tao ang pangalan. Pero, hinding-hindi mawawala sa alaala ang ideyang iniwan. Nakita ko sa iyong mga mata noon, doon pa lamang sa Dagupan, na alam mo sa sarili mo na pinapaniwala ko lamang ang aking sarili. Na ako'y tunay na naiinggit sa isang agila, gaya ng aking nom de guirre sa Katipunan; sapagkat nagagawa nitong lasapin ang kanyang kalayaang makalipad. Samantalang tayo na may karapatang maging malaya ay walang ginawa kung hindi ay aliwin ang sarili natin sa bulag na katotohanan.

               Ang masasabi ko lamang ay, nagkamali kang sabihin na ako ay nabulag ng aking kasikatan at ng aking pangarap na mahaplos ang mga ulap, kung ang aking nagawa lang ay makita ang parehong tanawin na nakikita ng kahit sino; na kung ikukumpara ay katiting lamang sa walang-hangganang nakita ng isang agila. Masasabi ko na, baka naligaw ako ng landas noong una. Pero dahil sa iyo ay naituwid muli. Noong tunay mong nakita kung sino talaga ako; siyang napapalibutan ng maraming tao pero sa huli'y nananatiling mag-isa. Lalo na't natanggap mo ako sa pagkatao kong patuloy na magmamahal sa Inang Bayan. At maintindihan na ang tunay na takot sa aking puso ay hindi ang kamatayan, kung hindi ay ang kawalan ng buhay upang patuloy na lumaban.

               (Y/N)... kung maari lang akong payagang makabalik, patakbo akong didiretso papunta sa iyo. Pero mas higit na nakakaalam ang P. Diyos. Nag-aalab ang aking puso habang ako'y patungo sa labanan na malaman na kahit sa kawalan ng pag-asa, ay patuloy na may naghihintay sa akin, at binigyan mo ako ng pagkakataong itago ang iyong pagmamahal. Pinagdarasal ko na maging sapat iyon para makabalik ako; at aking ikamamatay sa ikalawang pagkakataon kung ang mga huling minuto ng aking buhay ay hindi lang maging puro alaala mo, bagkus ay ang kinabukasan kong kasama ka na pinagkait sa atin. Naging duwag ako sa sarili ko kaya't hindi ko nagawang sabihin ang lahat-lahat ng ito sa iyo ng kaharap kita.

               (Y/N)... maraming salamat. Doon pa lamang sa Kakarong hanggang ngayon. Ang kagandahan ng buhay na pinamalas mo sa akin sa kabila ng digmaan, kalungkutan at hinanakit. Salamat sa kabutihan at pagtitiwala na pinagkaloob mo sa akin kahit hindi ako karapat-dapat. Salamat sa pagsintang ibinigay mo sa pag-alala sa aking pagmamahal. Salamat sa pagbibigay kahulugan sa huling tatlong taon ng aking buhay.

               Salamat. Aking buhay. Aking liwanag. Aking sinta.

               Sumasaiyo,

               Gregorio

I didn't know when the tears start to fall, and the lump on my throat rises again. I fold the letter back before shakily takes the necklace with the ring. Slowly, I smile softly and wear it around my neck again, feeling the comfort of it being with me.

"(Y/N)," I hear Enteng calling for me another time as he and Carrasco start to trek down.

I draw closer to them after brushing my tears away. Without any hesitation, I hand back the folded flag to him.

And as some sort of wordless understanding, it seems to finally dawn onto him why I am doing this. He furrows his brows in confusion. "Aalis ka?" he asks. "S-Saan? Saan ka pupunta?"

I sigh heavily, taking a step back. "Pasensya na, Enteng. Kailangan ko na umalis. Pero, sana, maipangako niyo na mananatili sa alaala ang buhay ni Goyo at ng mga namatay." I smile. "Pangako, may katapusan din ang lahat ng ito... at aalalahanin namin lahat ng ito."

Perhaps in the next life, fate will allow all of us to encounter one another again. Perhaps, to fall in love, to hold hands, and to walk alongisde each other until the end of time. Perhaps, everything could somehow be different compared to this.

Some other chance. Some happy ending. Some chance to never repeat this same narrative ever again.

* * *

A/N: SHOCKS! Bukas na ang Finale~~~ And 10K??? My gosh, you are the best!!!

Quick question lang po: do you think you'll be reading a story that is 75% political, 25% supernatural x action mecha? Well, please read FLIGHT PLAN dahil I'm also working on this at the same time that I've thought of revising one of my series that is as I've summarized in percentage to be one day up in Wattpad, too. I don't know when, but perhaps, at the moment na I am far enough writing it to share it to you. Well, will you read it? A poll is up in my Twitter for a week, so I'd love to see your answers and suggestions.

Follow me on twitter @23meraki for more updates. ;)

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