insomnia ㅡ akaashi keiji

full moon

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓
►SUGAR — BROCKHAMPTON
■ INSOMNIA — STRAY KIDS
■ SHOT DOWN — KHALID
■ SINGULARITY — BTS
■ I ALWAYS WANNA DIE (SOMETIMES) — THE 1975
■ CHANGES — LAUV
■ MY LOVE, I STILL — I'LL
■ FRESH AIR — ZAYN

—

late at night when the annoying dog next door finally stopped barking and every sane person was sound asleep, she laid awake.
the thin duvets covering her body barely spending enough heat to make her feel comfortable.
she laid on her back, the dry air in the room making it hard to breathe.
she was choking on her tears, trying her hardest to keep quiet, only a few quiet sobs escaped her mouth every few minutes.
"keiji..."
she croaked, voice coarse from crying too much.
"keiji."
a fit of coughs fell from her lips as she shot up from her thin mattress.
she stood on her feet, feeling dizzy and gasping for air.
the window was ripped open as she breathlessly screamed out his name.
over and over again.
"keiji!"
she called out one last time, before two strong arms engulfed her and a warm body came in contact with her cold one.

"calm down. you're okay, it's okay. you'll wake konoha, you know how lightly he sleeps."
his deep voice joined by a tiny chuckle sounded calm, for once. but she could tell he was hurting.
"bokuto, i'm dying."
she whimpered, nails digging into his forearms, desperately holding onto something to ground her in reality.
"you're okay. you're at nekoma high. we're having a training camp. you couldn't sleep again so i decided to keep you company, but i fell asleep."

his chin rested on her head, tears silently streaming down both of their cheeks.
"i loved him, i loved him so much. but it wasn't enough, i wasn't enough."
she felt weak in his embrace despite her athletic build and considerable height.
he turned her around, his hair covering half of his amber colored eyes and pulled her into another hug.
"you're enough."
he breathed, starting to rock back and forth, listening to her sobs quieting down.

"i wanna go home. i can't stand it here. i can't stand smiling when in reality i just want to cry my eyes out. bokuto, i want to leave. i'm no help to you guys, i can't even hand out bottles. i'm useless, i-"
she stopped talking abruptly when dim light flooded the dark room and she made out a male silhouette, standing in the doorframe, hesitating to walk in.
"k-"
she started, tears welling up in her eyes once again, unable to think straight as she slipped out of the third-year's embrace and dashed towards the shadowy figure.
"keiji!"
she cried out, arms flailing around what she thought to be the setter's waist, but all she found was air, as she fell to the ground.

"shit, ___ are you okay?!"
his voice shook with shock and worry, as he reached out to the shaking body.
she had curled up into a ball, face buried in her bare, bleeding knees.
"i.. i thought i saw him."
she whispered, the pulsing pain in her knees numbing her even further.
"when was the last time you slept?"
he asked, already knowing the answer.

"i sleep, bokuto. i'm not sick or anything, just sad."
she shot, he hit her weak spot dead on.
"be honest. please, ___ i wanna help you."
he muttered, hands resting on her shins.
"ever since he left.. i don't remember. i don't know, fuck. i don't know."
her voice was barely a whisper, voice gone from crying and screaming.

"a month, ___ . he left a month ago. you haven't had a solid night of sleep for a month."
his mind suddenly replayed all the silly moments during training, tournaments or birthday parties. he remembered the day she first stepped into the gym, eyes on his best friend from then onwards. her laugh and crinkled nose when she grinned, her snarky comments and the way she completely changed around akaashi. her words got caught in her throat when he glanced at her, her cheeks heated up when he asked her for a bottle of water.

"bokuto.."
he didn't notice the tears until they were already dripping down his cheeks, a sad smile on his face.
"i'm okay."
he wiped the salty drops away and then it hit her. keiji was his best friend. he didn't just leave her behind but also the friendship they had.
"why would he pull you into this.."
her voice wasn't sad anymore, it was venomous. she'd have understood him leaving her because she just wasn't good enough, but bokuto?

"___ ?! where do you think you're going?"
his panicked voice followed her through the empty hallway, coated in the blue, cold light of the night.
the corridor took a sharp left and ended with a single room. the faint snoring coming from the classroom almost gave it away.
she took a deep breath and wiped her cold, sweaty hands on the shirt she was wearing, before sliding the door open.

"keiji."
she nudged him, heart racing and limbs trembling. she felt sick to her stomach and when he finally lazily lifted his lids her heart stopped.
"___?"
hearing her name fall from his lips after a month of silence almost made her loose her footing. his voice was coarse and sleepy, but it had the same warmth to it like it did back then.

"why... why would you-"
she stuttered, but before she could even finish her sentence he sat up, grabbed a hold of her dangling wrists and pulled her down.
"shut up."
his voice rang in her ears, digits sending electric shocks through her body as they slowly started exploring her body.
"k-keiji!"
she yelped, an annoyed groan falling from the boy's lips.
"i told you to shut up. how dare you burst into here, wearing my shirt and no bra?! had your fun with bokuto?"

he suddenly sounded so cold, so hurt.
"keiji, no! i love-"
she was cut off by his lips on hers, hungrily pressing, teeth lightly tugging on her lower lip.
"stop."
she gasped, pushing him away from her body.
"why would you cut out bokuto? i get that you're over me, i'm not good enough for you anyways, but him? he's your best friend. i won't take the blame for your friendship ending. i already took all the blame for us ending."

"are you really this stupid? i know you fucked him, i know you went behind my back. you lied, cheated and now you act like you're the victim?"
if the moon wouldn't have been this bright on that night she wouldn't have noticed his tears and would've just shot back, but she noticed.
"keiji..."
she murmured, hands on his shoulders, the hurt in his eyes draining her of all the energy she had left.
that was the last straw, he fell forward and pulled her into his chest, whole body shaking with sobs.

and all of the sudden it felt like he was never gone. she was drawing circles onto his shoulder blades and rocked both of them back and forth, pressing frail pecks along his face.
"i missed you. so much."
he sniffed, looking up to meet her tired, blood-shot eyes.
"i never thought about bokuto in a sexual way. ever since i first set foot into that damned gym i only had eyes for you. fuck, you were my first time, my first proper boyfriend. i thought you knew how i felt. i didn't cheat. i still love you, i still want to be with you. i want to fall asleep on your chest."
she whispered, lids getting heavier.
"when was the last time you slept?"

"a month ago."
she simply mumbled, head slowly nuzzling into akaashi's chest.
"what?! are you insane?"
"just sad.."
she said, voice muffled against his shirt, he listened to her steady breaths and melted into the tight grip around his shoulders.
"i'm sorry."
he laid down, careful not to wake her, and pressed a kiss onto her lips before his eyes fell closed again as well.