Coming Out

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As a kind-of-closeted bisexual, I don't really have much experience with coming out to people. 

Only a short list of people know about my sexuality so that means I can share my stories below.

The first person I came out to was one of my friends. Lets call her Cecilia. I didn't really know her that well at the time but I was having fallouts with my friends around the clock and I felt like she was the only person I could trust. She sat with me one lunch time and I said, "I have found out a lot of things about myself the past few weeks." She asked me what I had learned and I said, "Humans are mean, I am queer and teachers REALLY like to pop balloons." She said, "Oh. That's cool... Wait, what does queer mean?" I just said, "I am bisexual." It turns out that her sister was bisexual too. She told me that she felt so privileged to be the first person to know. She really boosted my self esteem and helped me to tell more people. If you're reading this, Ree Ree, thanks.

Then I told my friend group. We call ourselves the CSME gang because the first letters of our name spell CSME. They were all sitting there, talking about everything that was wrong with their lives and I just burst out, "I have a problem that you guys don't have and probably never will have." They sorta looked at me and said, "What is it?" I just grumbled, "You guys will hate me if I tell you." They looked at each other and then said, "You can tell us." By then I was bawling my eyes out. I don't even know why! I must have just been really stressed or something. I calmed down a bit and then said, "I'm bisexual." There was a long silence and then my friend with the initial M asked, "Why would we hate you?" I shrugged and then my friend said, "It's okay. I'm sometimes pansexual." I looked at her in surprise because not many people know what that means. I'm glad that they accepted me. A while after they asked me why I was so afraid and cried so hard. All I answered was, "Straight people don't realise how hard it is to come out."

Then I told my friend. Lets call her Alexis. She was mentioned in a previous story in Things to Not Say To Bisexuals. GO READ IT NOW! Are you finished? Good. So, as I mentioned before, we were having a fallout. I felt like I owed it to her to know who I was, so I asked her to meet me in the library. We talked and mended our friendship. Then I said, "I have something to tell you." She asked me what it was and I went on about how it would change the course of our lives and friendship and all that jazz. She told me I was scaring her so I said, "I'm bisexual." She was all like WOAH! I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT! 

The next people I told were some girls I told at a statewide Girl Guide and Scout camp that I went to. I wont elaborate much because all of this happened over the course of a week. I met an entire group of LGBT+ girls and we were really tight friends for the whole camp. I never really told them that I was bisexual, but if they had a gaydar like me then it would have been obvious.

Then I told my Mum. In short, we were driving somewhere, she was lecturing me on my homework and asked me why I wasn't studying and I broke down crying (AGAIN?!). She kept saying, "WHY?! Just tell me!" I just kept crying. Eventually, it became too much and I just yelled, "I'M GAY!" My mum was confused and she kept on saying, "STOP SAYING OKAY!!!" I quietened down and repeated what I said. She was silent for a moment and then said, "I don't see how this has anything to do with your homework." So much for that. Eventually she asked me why I thought I was that and I just said, "I just know. It is a part of me." And then, GET THIS, she said to me, "I don't think you know what that means." I didn't speak to her for the whole night afterwards. Sometimes she asks me, "Do you still think you are gay?" I always reply with a simple yes and then she  goes on to remind me that she has 'heaps of bisexual lady friends who have gone on to get married to men and have kids'. 

What have we learned from my stories? Try not to cry. If you can't help it, then make yourself audible otherwise you have many kinds of awkward conversations. Also there are people that care. No matter where you are in the world, there will always be someone who will understand and love you for who you are.

P.S. The picture at the very top is one of my planned ways to come out to my school. I am thinking of posting it on instagram. Do you think it is good?

P.P.S. Submit your stories in the comments! I would love to hear of some other coming out fails to make me feel better about myself.

'Til next time!

So long, farewell!

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⏰ Last updated: Jan 07, 2020 ⏰

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