“Ah, Bill. Yes. Were you injured from that grievous fall you took from the blast of dragon powder? I regret that I did not warn you in a timely manner of what was likely to happen once you put the candle to the key hole.”
“Tisn’t that, so much, Doctor. I’ve fallen harder on many a tavern floor, so I have. But I was wanting to know . . .” Here Bill stopped; the Doctor was amazed to see him blushing furiously. “I was wanting to know about me hair. Will it come back? A hairless sailor is a jinx and a pox on a ship. Has ye any strong medicine to grow it back now?”
“Come here, Bill. Let me examine the damage up close.”
Bill came over and knelt before the Doctor, who massaged Bill’s reddened scalp, sniffed at it, then ran a soft green cloth over it.
“It likely will grow back, and likely will be thicker and curlier for the abuse it has taken” the Doctor said judiciously.
“Aye, but how long ere that happens?”
“Oh, Bill, you cannot presume to rush these things. Many a moon must wax and wane before you’ll need a comb again, my friend.”
“Aye!” cried Bill bitterly. “I cannot stand feeling the sea breeze on me noggin, Doctor! Has ye anything potent-like that might wake up me hair and start it growing a mite faster? Like what farmers use on their fields to make the grain perk right up.”
“A tonic for hair! Why Bill, this could be a most praise-worthy endeavor. Sit ye down while I look up what Beanside has to say on the growth of hair on the human frame.” So saying the Doctor stood and turned towards a precariously stacked pile of books. Just as he was gently tugging a volume out of the middle of the stack the ship took a lurch that sent the pillar of books raining down on the Doctor. Bill helped him set the stack to rights again and then sat, glancing sideways at the grinning skull of the late Doctor Holst while Pennocker read a few paragraphs from Beanside.
“Mmm,” the Doctor sighed. “The enlightened Beanside states there is no known elixir to encourage such activity. But he hints that certain roots and unctions, if used boldly, may have some effect – especially during the full moon. Let us expand upon the musings of the good Beanside, Bill. We must first wake up the slumbering hairlets that reside beneath the skin, if there be any, and remind them of their duty to reach for the sunlight. I shall use the yellow ointment for a base!”
The Doctor produced a mortar and pestle, along with a jar of yellow ointment. He enthusiastically used his hand to scoop up a good measure of the ointment and dumped it in the mortar. Wiping his hand on his jerkin, he proceeded to sprinkle a few crystals from some tiny bottles from a drawer in his desk, and then poured in a full bottle of some foul-smelling black liquid.
“We shall apply this substance to your scalp, Bill, and measure the results each dawn and dusk” he said cheerfully while battering the mixture with the pestle.
“What be that ere black water you added at the last?” asked Bill suspiciously.
“Essence of dungberry. A useful tool when the bowels are clammy and unproductive. It purges a body until they almost pucker up like a dried burr nut. My theory is that it will encourage those shy little hairlets of yours to come peeping out before you can say ‘blood sausage’! There, tis done.”
The Doctor spread a generous portion of the ointment over Bill’s gleaming scalp. It was a bit runny, so Bill had to wipe some out of his eyes as it dribbled down his forehead.
“It comes on a bit strong, and I’m afeerd I wants no hair on me eyeballs” said Bill, wrinkling his nose.
“Strong smell, soon well – that is what the profound Beanside advises. But I take your point, Bill. The ointment seems a bit thin. We want to concentrate it on top of your head, not let it slip away like butter in the sun. I think a cap of some kind should do the trick . . .”
Chapter Three.
Start from the beginning
