Double Edged Saber

Chapter One

A dyad in the force, two halves of the same whole. That's what Palpatine had said, and what Ben had told her as well, the day they went to rescue Chewy from the First Order ship. She thought they had just been lying to her, trying to manipulate her. But she had seen the wonder in Palpatine's eyes when he had discovered that Ben had followed her to the site of the Sith throne on Exegol. He wanted their power. Rey also knew it was true by the pain she felt as Ben had turned lifeless in her arms. She knew it by the empty feeling pervading her mind. 

She reached out to Ben through the force, hoping to reassure herself that she was somehow wrong about his death by feeling his familiar presence at the other end of their bond, but was horrified to discover that it had been severed. No, perhaps severed wasn't the right way to describe it. It was more like their bond had snapped like a piece of rope pulled too taut and left with the edges frayed and raw. 

Tears welled in her eyes as she nearly toppled over in her haste to check on Ben when he fell, and, blinking back tears, she began to notice him.. fading. Dematerializing. His body vanished and his clothes collapsed flat without their wearer. 

Rey took a panicked breath and reached out again. The sharp jolt of pain she felt at the frayed end of their bond caused her to let out a loud help that echoed off the walls just as they started to collapse. 

Realizing she had no option but to leave immediately, Rey haphazardly gathered Ben's clothing, threw it in her bag, and ran out as quickly as she could to Luke's X-wing. 

She wasn't sure why she'd grabbed his clothes, and she pondered about it as she flew away through the wreckage of the battle. Perhaps it was because she could no longer feel his presence in the force and felt that the tangible reminder of him would soothe the pain. Or maybe it was because she couldn't stand to see his only physical remains left in the throne room of the Sith after he had finally put Kylo Ren to rest and come to her aid against the Emperor. 

She thought upon several of these theories before finally reaching the conclusion that the only reason she really knew to be true was that leaving them just felt wrong. Any other reason didn't really matter in the end. 

Arriving back on Yavin 4, Rey frantically sought out Poe and Finn in the crowd of celebrating rebels. She cling to them, tears of relief falling down her face at the sight of both of them safely back from the battle. Her relief didn't last long though, she knew she had to speak with them urgently. 

"Rey, we get it, he's dead, but… shouldn't that be a good thing? He's been trying to kill all of us since before any of us even met him. How could his death be anything other than a miracle?" Poe asked, gesticulating wildly and running a hand through his hair as he paced back and forth across the room. 

"Because something is wrong about his death, I can feel it. Or I guess more specifically I can't feel it. When people die, their presence remains in the force, like how some Jedi can communicate with the living as Force ghosts. But with Ben, his presence is just...gone. it's like he's been ripped out of the fabric of existence," Rey explained. "And what's worse is that when our bond was severed, I could feel my ability to connect with the force starting to fade."

"Hold on, back it up a minute. What do you mean 'your bond?' You mean Ren has been inside your head?" Finn asked, looking shocked and angry at this information.

"Well, yes, but I don't think that really matters right now," Rey deflected, trying to remain calm. 

"Of course it matters, Rey! It could have gotten us all killed! Ren could have known where we were and what we were doing at literally any time and we would have had no idea!" Finn shot back, clearly very worked up. 

"That really isn't how it works, Finn," Rey reassured him, "Any time either of us reached out through the bond, we could always feel the other's presence. We could see each other and speak to each other most of the time as well, so it's not like I didn't know when he was using the bond, and I put up as many barriers as I could to keep us safe when I needed to."

"Okay, so moving on for right now, but believe me when I say we're coming back to that later…  even if his death isn't a good thing, what are we supposed to do about it? I mean, he's dead, Rey, I don't think we can fix dead," Poe said, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

"That's the thing. I… I don't think he is dead. If he was dead, I would be able to feel that, like I did with Luke, or with Leia, or even when Han was killed. I felt all of their deaths and can still feel their presence in the Force, but this isn't like that at all. It's different somehow, and I need to find out why before I'm cut off as well." 

"Can you run that part by me again? I still don't understand how Ren dying," he paused upon seeing the flash of dark emotion flickering across Rey's face, "er… I mean, being cut off from the Force or whatever, has to do with you being cut off from it too. I mean, are we sure that's what's causing it? Were you injured during the fight with Palpatine? Could that be causing it instead?" Poe continued, very tired, very confused, and just a little bit annoyed.

"I wasn't just injured, Poe, I was dead," Rey said, starting to shake slightly as the emotions flooded back to her in full force. "It was Palpatine, he wanted me to kill him and take the Sith throne. He tried to convince me that I would be able to stop the battle, stop the first order, save all of you. I almost believed him. But Ben, he found me, helped me defeat Palpatine. In the end, Palpatine's own power caused his death, but both Ben and I were badly injured in the fight. I was killed in the backlash of Palpatine's destruction, but Ben healed me. He brought me back to life even though he was already really hurt. And then he just… collapsed and vanished into thin air. At first I just thought he was dead, but something doesn't feel right. There's something else, too. Something Palpatine said. He said we were a dyad in the Force. Two halves of a single whole. I think that's why whatever happened to Ben is also affecting me."

Finn and Poe looked back and forth between each other and Rey for several long moments before Poe finally sighed heavily, breaking the silence. "Alright then, so what do we do to fix it?" He asked, looking expectantly at Rey.

"I don't really know yet," Rey answered truthfully, pushing a few stray wisps of hair back from her forehead. "I need to talk to Luke, he must know something that can help. I need to go back to Ahch-To."

"I'm sure you're anxious to sort this out fast, but I think you should wait until tomorrow to start doing anything else that's stupid and reckless. Right now a shower and a hot meal should help you feel a little better, and you need to get cleared by a medic before you go off on another suicide mission. Can you at least do that much for us before you leave, Rey?" Poe requested, trying to at least talk a little bit of sense into her.
Rey looked down at herself for the first time since the battle. She was covered in grime. Mostly sweat and dirt, with small chunks of rubble stuck to her skin and tangled in her hair and clothes. She also had multitudes of cuts and scrapes covering any patches of exposed skin, and she could see bruises starting to form all over her. 

As much as she wanted to start looking for answers right away, she knew that her friends were right. Her journey could wait until morning, but right now she needed to take care of herself first or she wouldn't be in any shape to start such a daunting task.

"Yeah, I think a shower is a good idea."