some people say might say i still am, i wouldn't be able to deny it. it's been over a month since we last called and every time i think of your voice my heart grows a bit sadder than she once was. i remember when i told you i was i love with you, right down to how i was laying in my bed on that dark night. every time i get a text i hope it's from you, but i don't know why i even bother anymore. i miss you ***** ******* ****. i will never talk to you again.
at least, that is my hope. if i talk to my charlie again i will lose all sense of who i am. it's been hard enough seeing little things that remind me of you every where i go. i have a question for you, but i won't ask. that will just make me miss you even more. i would be able to fantasize about everything we could do together, nothing sexual. we know that story. you kept asking me if you could watch me paint. i'm very upset you never got to. even though really that's my fault. everything is in this situation. i'm the one who got cold feet, and started getting scared. i thought you didn't love me. i was worried about everything but it's hard to remember something you've been desperately trying to forget for a month. i still have that mint on my dresser, you probably don't remember after we both got out of our showers and said we would make habit of eating these certain mints after we took a shower at the same time. there was one left, and it's still sitting there.
remember how you wanted new music? and how many playlists we made each other, too many. "a song a day for him" is still in my notes. i still add to it. you're very far behind, you'll have to catch up sometime. i threw away uour necklace. it hurt more than anything else, your guitar strings are also gone, along with the letter. i couldn't even bear to look at it i miss you so much more than i ever thought i would have to
love always,
*****
YOU ARE READING
no, you are not the rain. only the wind that comes along with it.
Poetryjust when i thought you were all i needed.
