January 28th 2017
*_*_*_*_*
When will my life begin?
That is the one question I always find myself asking. Whether it be to myself or to any person who bothers to ask or talk to me, which honestly I don't see why they would... Because I'm a loner. It's been... I don't even know how long since I felt any form of friendship or feelings towards anyone. My deadbeat family... mainly my dad, my mom left when I was seven.
All the bullies at school.
All the bruises I have.
All the pain I've suffered.
All this was all I could ever focus on until that one day. That one day when that overpowering, 6 foot, ( far taller than my 5'8 self. ) shy, bad boy of a Man walked through the door of my first period Class.
Now you might be wondering...
What would I have anything to do would this man, well honestly.... I don't know either. Only time will tell. I feel strangely... what's the word...
Attached to him? I think that's what I'm trying to say anyway...
You know that saying..... Love at first sight? Or maybe it's fear.
Or maybe it's hope.
Or maybe it's lust.
But what if it's truly selfishness..
I've been alone with no one caring about me for so long... that when this one man walks through my first session door... I just feel so strongly drawn to him and attached to him, that I must get to know him.
But there's one problem with that. One very very big problem...
I'm the loner.
I don't speak.
People hate me.
I'm despised.
Don't ask me why. I move here out of the blue freshman year. And within a week of me being at that school at this hell hole called a learning facility... The jocks and the cheerleaders and the nerds and the freaks and the druggies and any other cliche piece of s*** you can think of...
They all hated me.
This wasn't the case at first though.
But first they wanted to get to know me but when they figure it out that I was mute... When they saw the bruises, when they saw how broken I was... They turned on me.
I don't know about you, but I think that's a pretty stupid reason to turn on somebody.
But there's that one boy, the one boy that made it his promise to end all of this.
And his name is Harry Styles.
The tall, brown, almost black hair ( Curls for days... ), green, beautiful, emerald green, shiny eyes... It's hard to imagine that I would ever once be in this situation...
Harry, with his arm wrapped around me, pulling me behind his back, defending me from those who have hurt me...
But oh no... Just like any other cliche story... We didn't start off this way...
Let's take it back a few days.... No, make that a few months, even years. It was on that day when he walked through that door, before I even knew him, that everything changed.
Every. Single. Thing. Changed.
*_*_*_*_*_*
*December 17th, 2016*
"Louis" I hear. "LOUIS" The voice gets louder... " Louis, I swear to God if you don't get your faggot ass up, you'll get a whole lot more than a beating this morning"
I instantly shoot out of bed, and I start to pant... I think to myself, What the actual fuck, me! You know fuckin better than to over sleep!. I glance at my alarm clock. "Holy shit, " I exclaim, " how the f*** is it already 8:38?!" I have to be at school by 8:55... And guess what, I have to walk. I haven't showered! I haven't brushed my teeth! Way to go, Tanner! On top of all that, I'm still going to get my beating this morning..there's no escaping it... over sleeping is gonna make this 100 times worse.... Yay me. Sarcasm, bitches. I might as well bring my toothpaste and toothbrush to school and deal my teeth there. Fuck me in the ass, daddy Jesus. For you are not being a Saint right now.
I throw on some clothes, and sheepishly make my way downstairs. The first thing that I feel, see, and expected, was the fist that collided right into my stomach.
The only thing I see is my father's raging face.
The only thing I feel is his fist colliding with different parts of my body.
The only thing I expect is for this to happen.
He picked me up off the ground, and slams me against the wall, holding me up. He looks at me with a rage and power that I don't think is possible for a human to even muster. He looks at me and sneers, "If (punch) you (kick) ever ( you get the point ) over sleep, and make me late for work, EVER AGAIN!!!! I WILL KILL YOU."
He looks at me with disgust, and spits at me.
I fall to the floor and just sit there. Every morning this happens. And every morning I get back up and walk if off. Then I go to school, just to deal with it again.
Whelp! Time to die! I pull myself off the ground once he's left the room. I glance at the clock we have mounted in the kitchen.
9:00!!!!!!
Shit.
I'm late.
Detention for me!
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*
Ahh, school. The wonderful place of learning and hope that you'll make it somewhere with your life!
Ahh, Ravenveiw ( Harry Potter much?) Highschool. Rhymes, dunnit? The school of all schools. Rated top 3 in the Bristol area.
You'd think everyone is peachy keen, Right?
Well prepare to have your balls busted, bitch. This school is about as good as a 2 star prison. And that's me being nice. It's crawling with daddy's money, spoiled, rich brats. Everyone in this school has too high of standards, even the teachers and the headmaster. It's all about the money, honey. ( I'm on a roll with the rhymes today. )
You got money,
You got good grades.
You got power.
You have popularity.
You have it all.
You don't have money?
Then you're like me.
B-U-L-L-I-E-D
I'll take kill me now for 500, please.
*_*_*_*_*_*_*
So... How is it? Boring so far. I wasn't quite sure where to end this one, but I hope you like it. Just wanna say that Adam Silvera is my inspiration for wanting to write books. I love him, and look up to him. Anyway, this has been the first chapter of my book, if you like it, you like it.. if you don't, you don't. I don't really care, just don't mean mean. Treat people with kindness. I mean that. Anyway!
Love and kisses,
K.
