From Eden

screaming the name of a foreigner's god (the purest expression of grief)

"Well, there's nothing that I like more than a conversation. Let's have it." I gesture to her bed, ignoring her quizzical look. "What, you think I just go to high school every time I move? Sometimes things get boring and I decide to go to college. I just so happen to not only have a BA, but my masters, and my PHD in psychology. Like, three times over. I get bored and we're going to have a conversation. Really, there's nothing healthier than talking to someone." I join her on the bed, curling in her duvet to put a layer between her scorching skin and my ice-block body. "What was the misunderstanding? We should start there." I nod, gesturing for her to continue.

"Jake came to me to tell me that someone was killing hikers. After I figured out what he is, what the pack is, I thought that they were the killers. You know, giant moose-sized wolves don't exactly scream protection. He told me it was a vampire and, well, the only vampires that I've seen around lately are you and Laurent. One of them is dead, I think. I just assumed it was you..." She looks ashamed, breaking eye contact completely by looking out the window to her left.

"You thought I was sneaking off and killing hikers?" I cock an eyebrow and try to keep the hurt out of my voice, "You saw me everyday, I never had red eyes. I don't wear contacts." Ouch. The idea that I was the one sneaking out and killing humans burns in my stomach and throat, but the idea that Bella thought it was me runs cold through my old, dead veins.

"I guess since I've met you I realized that I don't know everything about vampires like I thought I did. I don't know what I thought. Maybe you could hide it?" She shakes her head, "But Jake convinced me it was you. He saw us together, that day in the meadow, and knew that we were friends. He said the scent wasn't the same, but that doesn't matter. It could have been you. But then you showed up and everyone was pissed that you were on the land, but they all realized that you don't have red hair like Victoria does. They realized you don't smell the same as her, and when she attacked you... Everyone knew, except for Paul, or Jared maybe, that you weren't working with her like they thought."

"I'm not mad at you for assuming it was me, you know." I reach for her hand and Bella bites her lip again. She smiles at me, nodding in the bashful way that makes her look... Painfully cliche and beautiful. I rub my thumb over her knuckles, watching as the hairs on her arms stand and goosebumps rising over her skin.

"I'm glad. I was just... I was afraid it was you and I didn't want..."

"You didn't want to lose me, so you reacted in a way that switched it so that I was losing you." I nodded, "I understand it. I wasn't lying when I said that I haven't fed in nearly one hundred years, though. It's hard, but I haven't slipped. Not once." She looks back to me, eyes shining. It looks like she's damn near close to crying.

"I'm proud of you."

"Don't be. I think about killing you every second that I'm with you. And for the three hundred years before that I killed more people than I care to put a number to. I know the 'woe is me' act gets stale quickly, so I'm not asking you to pity me. Just don't be proud of me." I drop Bella's hand, leaning away from her when she leans toward me.

"You are such a hypocrite." Bella laughs, shaking her head. her scent drifts toward me and it's like someone's put a fire poker into my belly. I giggle and fall back into her bed, putting even more space between us. "I can't believe that I didn't make the connection between you and Victoria. Even when you told me that story I didn't put two and two together." I rifle through the things I learned from Victoria in under a second, learning everything about the situation in Forks.

"It doesn't make you afraid of me, does it? That I was a part of her coven for so long?" I can't imagine what it's like to be Bella: sitting on her bed with a creature that could kill her at any moment. And to also know that the very same creature was coven-mates with another bloodthirsty vampire that hunted her every moment and move. I know that Victoria will never stop from experience, but from Victoria's memories? Knowing that she's avenging James' death? It's a different perspective. Victoria has no drive, and continues hunts for fun, but now she has drive. She has a motive. She's avenging James. Bella has nerves of steel for a human. It makes me proud of her, but also very afraid that her bravado will get her killed. Victoria will play off of that. "Victoria and I weren't the closest out of the rest of them, but we were close. She was the one who changed me with the help of her older sister."