Overthinking zooi

The road of overthinking

Sometimes I wish it was easier. Everything. Life, love, friendship. It looks simple. Well, when you are together it's simple. And then, you're apart. That's where it al starts.

First there's nothing. There's only the normal things you do. No worries, no doubts, nothing bad. You don't really think. You just do what you do in life and there's nothing in your way. But everything can change, right?

Then there are the little things. The people you miss or the things that feel a bit off. Still nothing to worry about. Those things just happen. It's not bad or something. It just comes over, like a cloud. It blocks the sun for a bit of time, before you can see it shine again.

You just need one thing to start it. One word, one deed. How little they are, they make an impact. It doesn't even have to be meant in that way, but they let it all roll. The thoughts, the ideas. The craziest scenarios come by. First there's nothing wrong, but now you only think about how you fucked it all up. The only thing your mind tells you is that they hate you. Your friends, your family. Just one little thing and your thoughts go wild. You wished you could do it all over again. Try not to fuck it up this time. But in the end it's too late and you're stuck with your own thoughts.

Welcome to the road of overthinking. Well, my road. The only thing I want is to stop this madness in my head. Just step off of that road and go back home. But what if your home are the people up here? The people you think you fucked it up with?

Sometimes you feel like the road never stops. It will eventually. You only need time and friends you trust. Your thoughts would make it look like you've rolled down the hill and you're at the bottom now. You could give it up. Say it isn't worth it to climb the mountain again. Avoid conversations, ignore everything that happened. Just run away from everything. It's the easiest thing to do. You don't have to face the scary mountain, the long and hard climb. But it's also the way you lose the most. Trust, happiness, maybe friends. In the end you have to face the mountain. You have to climb it and see what good things it will bring to you. And it won't be easy. Your thoughts will always try to bring you down. But the only thing you can do is smile and say that it's okay to feel bad once in a while. But you have people who care for you. Never doubt that.