To Him Who I cannot Own ( Completed Short Story )

The Exemplum

The story begins in my third year of high school.

So , here's the story.

13th of June 2018 , Tuesday morning.............It was the first day of school , the first day of my life on the third year of high school , it was a sunny day , a good day to know other strangers in the same room as me , there were some faces I knew , some I don't. I entered the room and sat other with the people I already knew.
During that day I meet knew people , made new friends , but there was one guy who really caught my attention. That guy was , Jacob. He was quite unique for all of us , everyone in the classroom has a skin tone in the shade of brown , while he , was on the lighter spectrum , hazle eyes , pink rosey lips , his hair having a shade of brown and his height was quite short...which kinda disappointed me. But then , I just shrugged off his presence.

The following months of the school year , I noticed that I keep on watching or starring at him , though I believe that it was normal for me , since I'm gay , looking at hot or handsome dudes is a job on a daily basis , during this time I had no idea why I kept on watching him. Then it was confirmed during a role play presentation in our english class , Reader's Theater , the story that was made by my group was about LGBT people having relationships , this idea was made by our group leader , everyone agreed expect for me , since it quite makes me uncomfortable , knowing that I have homophobic classmates , but I had no other choice since it was already decided , and obviously the role of the LGBTQ landed on me.....Then , I was paired with him. I suddenly rejected the idea since I have mixed feelings on him? he agree with me , I felt relieved , but our leader was giving no exception on changing roles , so , we became partners.

During our practices , I can't stop thinking that I am his partner , I shouldn't contrate during practices because he was on my mind , this continued until the day of the performance......We performed , good thing that it went as we always practiced , but after the performance , I became a teasing target for my classmates , they would tease me that I have feelings for Jacob.... Although they were right. I confirmed that I was inloved with him. Not the first time I've fallen inloved , but the first time to feel this feeling , it was really different from the timed that I've fallen inloved , I couldn't describe the way I felt , for weeks to months , the teasing continued , at first , I would yell at them to stop , but then everytime they teased , I blushed , I can't help it. Then I noticed it. Everytime they would tease me , he would have a disgusted look on his face , figures , we are not that close , and a gay suddenly falls inlove with him. I get it. So I adjust , to help myself to move on already.

In the middle of the school year...... things began to happen , we started to know each other well , then we became close , not as close as best friends but close to that. We talked during class , eat together during break , and bid farewell to each other before going home , then we would chat during night times. The attempts of me trying to move on , were easily crushed by his charming personality. I was quite shocked , at first I thought that he would be a jerk , but it turns out he is a charming , caring , funny and a loving person. It made it hard for me to move on for him. Then I courage up and confessed to him , he was grateful that I confessed to him since he also confessed that he already knew my feelings towards him. but in the end , I was friendzoned , but hey , atleast I could breathe easily now ,like a huge rock was removed from my chest.
He told me that I could just be myself towards him , myself that was inloved with him.....

Time passed , January arrived. I suddenly acted like an idiot towards him , and it made him really really disgusted towards me for able to do that towards him. We didn't talked for days......I apologized to him for doing that , then he accepted my apology , it made me happy. From that day , I vowed that I would move on , but I was foolish for believing  that I could do it.

Then the time arrived , March , it was during our Romeo and Juliet practice , he and I was practicing on a fighting scene , then he suddenly slip and accidentally kissed me.....I froze.....then my groupmate grabed me away , no one knew what happened that day , since the incident was covered by my height , I was a inch or 2 higher than him , thanks to that it covered the incident. No one knew except for me and him. We didn't talked that afternoon nor chatted that evening. The Next day...I told him that I still couldn't get over him , still friendzoned , but he said that summer break is arriving that it would help me to move on for we would not see each other for 3 months. I believed the words he said........ before summer break arrived , I again mustered courage and ask him , on what did he feel when there's a gay that fell inlove with him and that gay is one of his close friends. he replied , that he was okay with it aslong as not. His replied puzzle me for days to weeks. then summer break arrived.

What he said was right , it was easy for me to move on since we didn't see each other , I didn't chatted him so I could move quickly. But one day , I noticed him posting dejected post on social media , so I chatted him , and asked why. He wouldn't reply. So I asked his close friend , Traysha , on why he was feeling that way , she told me that he and the girl he was dating broke off. Memories during the school year flowed. Then I noticed that never he laughed or smiled together with me. Was I really that clueless? or stupid? I was devastated. I cry to myself to sleep that night. The pain I felt that day was unbearable. For nights , I cried , thinking the same thing , feeling that he made me feel love by doing those things , and the feeling of being betrayed , we've been almost friend for a year , but he didn't told me that he was on a relationship. It hurt me. Then one morning , the girl he dated chatted me , that it was my fault for their relationship not to continue , I didn't know why , but , I replied to her that I don't know what you are talkinh about and you don't need to worry about a thing , I will cut all connections with him.... I didn't received a reply , she only seened my message. I move on a different school after Summer break , I was afraid that the same thing would happen again if I continue to see him. I did not bid farewell to him , didn't replied to his messages.

To the one who made you happy , thank me for it , since I gave way for others to give you happiness that I cannot give to you.

Goodbye , and thanks for the time.