this is an absolute shitpost. im so sorry. patrick eats you at the end just a spoiler. ill include a picture to show you what its supposed to be like. i dont own literally anything in this story but the plot.
Last chance to avert your eyes children. I'm so so so so sorry about this. Reader is gender neutral.
*Your P.O.V.* I walked past the houses of my neighbors, SpongeBob and Squidward. They were both at work, so it was just Patrick and me in the neighborhood.
I knocked on the rock of my best friend and long time crush. I heard sandy footsteps from inside. I want to tell him how I feel today, since it's just us two and no one else is around.
It's really no wonder why I love him so much; he's pretty stupid, but also very kind. He's also very handsome, and I would love to feel his cock-shaped arm thrusting in and out of me-
I'm snapped out of my thoughts by the rock my crush calls home opening. Before I say anything, I feel a handless arm wrap around my waist and pull me into the rock. I feel lips smash against mine, and can only assume one thing- it's him. I automatically kiss back, and run my tongue against Patrick's lips. He growls, and slams me against the wall, and starts attacking my neck, leaving love bites and hickeys.
"Sorry, Y/N," he says in between his barrage on my sensitive throat. "But I'm the dominant one here. You could say," He lowers his voice in a sexily husky register. "I'm the Linguini to your Ratatouille." (A/N this is a reference only a few good friends would understand, sorry)
Patrick smirks and looks deep into my eyes, and I see only a hungry lust in his beautiful orbs. I can feel his strong arms caress my chest under my shirt, before he rips off my top, completely exposing my chest.
He hungrily attacks my perky nipples, and I can't help but moan loudly at his actions. I moan louder when he starts rubbing my lower regions through my bottoms.
Suddenly, I feel my bottoms ripped apart, and I'm roughly spun around. Patrick bends me over, and I put my hands on the wall to balance myself.
I feel Patrick's arm slip into me, and I yelp in pain and- surprisingly- pleasure. He starts thrusting his arm quickly, and I can't help but moan despite the tears running down my cheeks.
"You like that, don't you? Dirty bitch." I hear him whisper seductively into my ear, along with other dirty things.
"Yes!" I moan loudly. Suddenly, I feel Patrick's arm disappear. I whimper from the loss of him inside me.
However, I moan even louder at the feeling of something girthier entering my hole. I feel something wet start to lick down there, and I realize I'm being fucked by his damn head.
I moan louder at the sensation. After a few minutes of feeling his head thrusting in and out of me, him licking me all the while, I cum all over him.
"S-sorry, P-Patrick..." I mumble. He just chuckles, and pulls his pants down. My eyes widen at the sight of his huge cock. If I can fit his head in me, I thought, I can fit that monster.
Without any warning, he slams his dick into me, and begins thrusting roughly at a very fast pace.
I moan loudly, and I can hear Patrick growling behind me. The moaning and growling from us gets louder and louder until I cum again. Patrick cums too, but...it hurts.
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"Y/N," he says, his voice flat. "Do you know how starfish eat? They eject enzymes into their pray to digest them on the outside."
Anything beyond that starts to fade out. My vision starts to turn white. I realized that this was a big mistake.
Before I die, and get eaten by the love of my life, the last thing I hear is: "I love you, Y/N. I always have. I'm sorry."
Jesus sorry this is so cringe. I really tried for my friends, and if you read this and you don't know me, I hope you enjoyed, I guess. Pm me for requests or something, I suppose.
