Dear Anxious Me

1. The Letter

Dear me,
For years you have neglected your anxiety, even though you knew you had it. You could cope up. Now, being anxious gives you anxiety. It's okay. That's normal. Every 1 out of 4 people have anxiety. And that's a huge number! You don't know about it yet and it feels like everything makes you anxious. Every feeling feels like anxiousness and you think you cry every 2 minutes because of anxiety. That's okay. You are just confused. You will know in a few years and it's, totally, normal to be confused. On some days, you will feel sad, some days irritated, some days angry, some incidents will give you existential crisis. Trust me, worse happens with others. You will cope up with those days, too. Every problem has a solution, don't blame yourself for everything and talk. Discuss. Talk. You can't hear songs for a long time and yes what could be better than songs to escape from all of this, right? Don't. Don't try to escape. Remove those earphones, turn that music down and face the situation, solve the problem. Escaping won't help. It will only make the situation worse, in your case, at least. Go out. No matter whether you live in Delhi or Mumbai or Nainital, no matter how polluted the air is or the only thing you can see are buildings and not trees and sky. Go out. Even if you have to go in the middle of some work. Cry your heart out, doesn't matter if there is someone in front of you. Don't tell them if you don't want to, but cry! If things go wrong when you try to do something for someone, even if everytime, don't feel sad or cry (it's okay if you do) what matters the most is that you did something! That's good because not everyone does things for others! It's okay if someone broke your trust or if someone made you question humanity because you know 'yin and yang' and humanity still exists in this world even if you are the only one with it. It's okay if people tease you or makes jokes about you, hey, they had a good laugh! Yay. Stay away from your phone whenever you feel low. It's not okay. And remember you are strong enough to stop anxiety attack, obviously not every time. You will have a new experience if you get them, and then you can see what helps and you can help others! Who knew anxiety could be beneficial. Haha. Feeling anxious? Either go in a corner (an open one) and cry your heart out or if you think you can handle then go out in the field. You know how much you love nature. A small plant is enough to make you smile! And if not anxious and just sad, then sleep for like 2 hours and bam it was all past, another yay. And if you feel like being on your phone, then watch friends, Chandler will, surely, help you. There will be days you will cry yourself to sleep, either there will be no one with you or there will be someone because of whom you'd be silently crying. You will feel like talking to someone, you will just want to tell someone that you are crying so that that person can give you a shoulder to cry on, but you know it's just you, will always be you. But if there is someone then go tell them, don't be so harsh on yourself, please. It's good to take the easy route, sometimes. Tell someone what's going in your mind, if you can be there for others' problems to listen then there can be at least one person who would, genuinely, listen to you. ❤