Cat Scratch Fever

Chapter 12

When she was trying to help him with the Boosted Gear, and he very nearly killed himself. The thoughts going through her mind when she watched her beloved erupt into flames had been nothing short of desperation. The thought of him killing himself right there, in front of her, doing something she'd told him not to do and warned him about, just to gain power- it made her sick to remember. Once again, the aftermath had been fine, but the whole disregard for her was apparent.

Again, when he forced her to talk to Koneko. She hadn't been ready. He knew that. He made her do it anyway, and exactly what she expected had happened. She knew he was just trying to help, it was probably the right thing to do anyway, and the result would've been the same regardless- but it still hurt.

And then, just a few days ago- when he thought they were under attack by Tannin, he'd thrown her aside and charged into battle with a Dragon King by himself, despite the fact that she could fight just as well as or even better than he could. She'd felt beyond annoyed that he'd do something so reckless without her there, and here he was, doing the EXACT SAME THING.

Kuroka felt like screaming into a pillow. She loved him so much it hurt, and he really was all she had.

Then, she had thought.

Not just any thoughts- one of the kind that you don't want, that you don't expect.

A thought that worms its way into your psyche without any invitation, without any warning or beckoning.

She had an intrusive thought in every sense of the word.

Was Kuroka not worth his consideration?

At first, she wholeheartedly dismissed the notion. Of course not. He'd shown her time and time again through both his actions and his feelings, that she meant the world to him just as he did her.

But as a lonely hour passed, and he still didn't return- she felt doubt.

On paper, she was beneath him. She was just one of his pieces, a Queen to the King. But he'd always assured her he didn't care about that, that he didn't think of her as anything less than his absolute equal.

What if he really didn't think she was worth it? That she wasn't really his equal, and that her opinion was just a nuisance.

Once again, she dismissed the thought.

But then another vile idea crept into her mind, one that she couldn't repress.

If he really cared about her or how she felt, he wouldn't be out fighting a dragon while she withered away in their bedroom.

He wouldn't have blown off her warnings and nearly committed suicide, or done any of the other things he'd done.

But, maybe she was overreacting. Maybe four or five times he'd been inconsiderate could be offset by all the things he'd given her.

For one, he'd literally saved her life. If it wasn't for Issei, she would've bled to death on the floor of a suburban house.

He'd lied and threatened Sirzechs Lucifer, the King of Devils himself, just so she could finally have some peace and quiet for once, instead of being hunted like an animal.

He'd shown her how to love and be loved. It was a long time since she'd felt either of those things, before him.

He'd literally turned himself into a dragon, and even though she hated how he'd done it, she couldn't deny it was a fantastic thing after the fact. Now he was certainly powerful enough to protect her, which had been his goal the entire time.