Broad-Spectrum Assassin

Memory 3: His First Class

BladEagle's eyes ignite. "My beautiful mother was a historian. The Archivos on campus personally tutored her. She may not be good enough for your people, but once I'm in charge hard-working people like her will be given proper respect in the guild."

"The guild is a body, there are many vital organs to tear out and devour! Ehahahahaha!" Screams teacher in a manic rage.

BunBun grabs onto my hand.

Oh great. I'm needed, aren't I?

I move to the center of the table and hug teacher.

Please don't kill me.

Teacher stops screaming and looks down at me. "What are you doing?"

"You were uh, rambling."

"Oh, sorry about that." Teacher scratches his head with a knife, accidently cutting into it. "My point is that your parents may all be miserable failures, but they are still doing their duty. They are an integral part of the guild, as are teachers. Well, teachers are actually the most important part, but you wouldn't know that by looking at our salary. I demand a raise!" yells Teacher before slicing up the ceiling. "Phew, alright. I'll concede. BladEagle will be your teacher today."

Class went on for way too long. I nearly fell asleep while walking and my arm is covered in cuts because of all the questions I got wrong. BladEagle specifically kept choosing me to answer just so I'd mess up. Thankfully, teacher realized we were tired and Goopy reminded him that living beings need food.

"Victory is an assassin's only meal."

"You mean, you don't eat? You've never had cake?" asks BunBun with a look of horror.

"I eat pain and piss punishment!" exclaims Teacher, flailing his blades around.

WarWolf slams her hand on the desk. "Well we need to eat. I'll cook it myself if you give me some ingredients."

BunBun snuggles WarWolf. "You like cooking! I love eating! We're the best couple ever." She kisses her cheek repeatedly. "From now on we're inseparable."

WarWolf pats her head. "Yeah, heheh."

"Oh lunch time! Yes! It's on the schedule." Teacher looks at the illegible scratches on the back wall. "Only the students who didn't fail the first test get to eat. BladEagle, StarBorne you two get to enjoy. Everyone else, contemplate on the consequences of your failure."

WarWolf shakes BunBun off her. "I didn't fail. Only a simpleton would reveal the truth to a potential enemy."

"You mean you don't love me?" BunBun's cheeks puffs up and her eyes water.

"I never even said that I did." WarWolf rolls her eyes.

"Breaking her feelings just for a bite. You are indeed a savage one. But you're also lying," says Teacher.

WarWolf glares at him and then pulls me up to her.

She kisses me harshly and then pushes me away. "There. Happy. Now give me food!"

Teacher giggles. "Alright, no need to get mad."

"While everyone else is getting exercise, I'm stuck on the floor with broken legs and it's your fault!" She glares daggers at Teacher.

"You can all share your meal." Teacher coughs up a big plate and then coughs up a dead Cuckatrice.

BladEagle rolls his eyes. "Ninjas, assassins from another world, they eat only fruits, vegetables, seeds, nuts and legumes. Do you know why that is?"

"Uhhhh because they fear the taste of blood?" asks teacher.

"No, because they need to be at optimal health and stamina."

"He's right," says WarWolf while gnawing on the bird's head.

She looks so pretty when she eats.

BunBun pulls me aside and glares at me.

"Umm, what's wrong?"

"You stole a kiss from my girlfriend! I'm taking it back." She grabs and pulls on my lips.

"Owww. Hey, relax. Maybe Teacher is right about romance."

BunBun holds her fingers to her head. "I don't even like girls, but she made me feel loved." She sobs into my chest.

Teacher carves several portals out for us in a circle, matching our desks. "Class dismissed. You can return home. I'll be at your place at six thirty in the morning so we can continue the lesson. Till then my little warriors."

Goopy runs into his portal as soon as it opens.

BladEagle takes his book with him into his portal.

StarBorne blows everyone a kiss before she enters his portal.

BunBun glares at me as she walks back into her portal, accidentally tripping and falling on her butt before scooting back into it.

I help WarWolf to her feet.

"Hey, I can still crawl my way home. Don't pity me." She glares at me.

She's breathtakingly pretty!

I help her into her portal.

"Well, go on, scurry back to your loving family," says Teacher, sinking into the floor.

"An assassin must take every opening he sees. I'm going in!" I rush into WarWolf's portal.

I'm gonna be a great father and she'll be a lovely mother! I hope mom and dad won't worry too much.