MY BOSS' BABY.

1

Two years have passed since I lost my purpose to live.Yes,sometimes you have to accept other things no matter how hard they are and try to move on but I swear I'm failing miserably.

Since that tragic day of bidding my goodbye to Kian ,I felt like nothing really disserves my attention in the future except my family who don't really understand what's happening with my life.I hate talking about anything to do with him, don't get me wrong and say I hate him but maybe I do . I can't tell what I feel about him,maybe I miss him or maybe I hate him for allowing himself to leave me even after we agreed we will be together through all the good,best and the ugly.

Did he really give up on us?

Maybe it was the best thing he could've done to me.Who knows?

I was sitting under a random flower tree that's in our clean compound that looks lifeless to me.No,its so beautiful ,I'm the one who sees everything lifeless since that day ,that day when I hugged him for the last time,that day I saw him smiling for the last time we were together.i didn't notice my mum sitting next to me till she enveloped me in a tight hug,tears slipped down my face before hugging her back.

I felt guilty for worrying her that much.This is because ,she knows nothing that's happening with me since the last two years and of course today was his memorial day.Only one out of all my eight siblings knows my misery,and since she's a nurse and busy always ,she has no idea how tiny I have grown,how much I don't smile lately and how I look miserable.

Mother pulls away and looks at my glass eyes which I try so hard to hold tears in them.
"Hey,whats wrong sweetie?You're worrying me .You know I am your mother,and I'm tired of nothing as your answer daily,youve grown to be more quiet at each passing day"more tears fall freely from my eyes ,I don't even bother wiping them away,maybe I needed that hug the most and maybe I thought her warmth will take all my worries away but they added to it because I saw her teary face which reminded me of Kian's granny , how she cried that day given she had raised him in his whole life.

"Sweetie talk to me,i am your mother and I love you"she said while pulling me close to her more.

Maybe I had judged my mum wrongly by her strictness and thought she won't understand what I was going through given I am her last born and only twenty years old now.Its expected of me to have no boyfriend till I finish my university education and secure a job,that is a year remaining .I fight with my conscious not to mention anything and tell and give her the 'nothing'answer again but I guess it's going to make her stressed about me more.

That makes me sob even more."Mum,is it okey to have a boyfriend at this age,you know I am twenty rightnow"I ask her .
She smiles and then answers "is that why you seem off since the past two years,because you expect me to say no to you?No baby,you can have a boyfriend,if that's what makes you happy "

By her saying that I cry even more,all the past three years I kept my relationship with Kian a secret ,my sister who is only a year older than me is the only one who knew I had a boyfriend and I loved him ,she knew him two weeks after I fell in love with him and they even used to talk .She however never got the opportunity to see him face to face since we both study in different universities.I wish I would open up to her but I couldn't even manage a word coming out of my mouth.

So I did the only thing that came in my mind,standing and running to my room and then locking it.

I felt bad for my mother,i love her and I don't want to worry her and drag her into my problems considering her age,i always want to make her happy and seeing her smile is my only concern.

She being the determined woman she is came after me and knocked on my door three times.Opening it I envelop her in the tightest hug and smile through my puffy and red eyes in order to assure her i am fine.