Let Her Go

Part 1

"Who ever said I was messing with your feelings? Maybe I was just waiting for you to finally make a move?" I could hear the competitiveness in her voice coming out, and I didn't like it at all.

"I'm not going to play this game with you Lex, I'm not going top hurt myself for a one night stand." I got up and was going to sit where I was before until I felt a strong grip pull me back. My body crashed into a very drunk Alex.

"Whoever said it would be a one night stand?" She whispered in my ear. "I want you Tobin Heath I want you right now." I gulped Alex wanted me but did I want to give her all of me? Maybe she's doing this because of Serv. Before I could say anything else she grabbed my hand and dragged me outside.

"Lex stop this can't happen because one your drunk and I have way too much respect for you to take advantage. And you just got in a fight with Servando, of course you'll do something stupid like try to hook up with someone. " I rambled out quickly and waited for a cab. Why does she do this to me? I felt someone tap my shoulder and my eyes met her beautiful blue ones. "I like you Tobin.... And I know you like me. What just happened I enjoyed it and you did too. Why are you so afraid to let go for one night?"

"Because I'm afraid to Alex! I'm scared you're going to hurt me, I'm terrified actually that you'll leave me hanging on."I snapped at her and found the cab was already here. I didn't look at her but I went straight in the cab. She got in and didn't say a single word the entire ride to the hotel. The cab stopped and I got out in record time storming up to my room. This can't be happening right now. "Ahhh!" I yelled slamming the door shut. Alex is giving me mixed emotions right now. She loves Serv but kissed me then kissed me again saying it wouldn't be a one time thing? This entire sitiutioan is messed up. Someone knocked on the door I figured it was Lauren checking up on me for slamming the door. "What!" I screamed swinging the door open only to be met with the only person I didn't want to see right now. "Alex I'm pretty sure I made it clear I'm not willing to have my heartbroken by you."

"Tobin just hear me out please!" She asked stepping in the door way, "can I come in?" "Sure" I said rather quickly. "Tobs I can't promise you that I will leave Servando because you're right I love him too much. But I would be lying to myself and to you, if I said I wasn't in any way attracted to you. What I'm tryng to say is I like you Tobin." I stayed quite for a few moments. "So what do you want from me?" I asked. "I'm saying that I want to continue doing this with you. I like kissing you anad I know you like it too. I can't promise you that I'm going to leave him but I can promise you that I really I care about you ."

I stayed up most of the night thinking about what Alex said.

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The next morning I went down for breakfast and seen Alex getting herself a coffee .

"Hey Tobs." Her voice was groggy

"How you feeling Lex?"

"Like I got hit by a bus." she laughed "Man I was wasted last night because I have no memory of what happened at all!"

It hurt to know that, but it was expected. "Yeah I brought you back to the hotel before you made a fool out of yourself." You forgot all the kisses we shared.

She smiled and sat down at a small table and I sat across from her.

"Lex I have to tell you something," she looked at me "I signed a six month contract with PSG and I leave next week."

"That's great Tobin." I could hear the sadness in her voice.

"Don't lie to my Lex tell me what you really think."

"Okay... How could you do this Tobin? I need you here with me! The NWSL starts soon! What about the team? How could you be so selfish?" I'm not the one that cared about two people.

"I need you to understand that I am doing this to better myself as a player. And I will be back through half the season. But I am not being selfish I want to do something for me for a change you know?"

"No, I don't know but why would you do this?" she asked obviously furious.

"Because I need a break Lex!" I yelled standing up. "I need a break from here!and from you! Thanks for being supportive." I said walking away. Thanks for getting my hopes up that we could be something.
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Six months later.....

I'm on my way back to the States after what seems like forever. Going to Paris was the right choice for me. After the fight we had Alex and I forgave each other. While I was in Paris I met another American and her name was Lindsey Horan. We instantly became friends and thanks to her I finally got enough courage to tell Alex I love her.

As soon as I got my bags I was immediately tackled to the ground.

"Tobs! I've missed you so much!" Alex screams.

"Yeah missed you too!" I felt something digging into my rib cage when she was hugging me.

"Tobin you won't believe what happened while you were gone!" she squealed as we got into the car. I buckled myself in.

"Serv proposed to me!" she yelled her face full of happiness. My heart dropped and shattered. She took him back and didn't tell me? She never cared about me, that night meant nothing to her.

"I wanted to surprise you!" she laughed.

"Well you did good with that." And also killed me, she's happy Tobin let her be happy.

"How long are you staying? I want you to come with me to look for dresses." Did she really forget her promise to me? Did she not remember that night?

"I don't know, Look I just want to hang with friends and family you know? I don't want to go dress shopping." I sounded so bitter I know she could hear it too.

"Yeah... yeah I get it." her voice was full of hurt.
The season rest of the season flew by in a hurry. I was thankful but sad to leave the amazing city of Portland. I did my best to distance my self from Alex, which didn't help at all. The team noticed what I was doing and did their best to cheer me up. The only person who didn't know I was in love with Alex was Alex Morgan herself.
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Two weeks later...

I haven't really talked to Alex since I left Portland. She's sent me a million a texts but I never respond. She calls but I never answer. I could feel myself slowly breaking so I did the only thing I could do. I booked a ticket to France.

I wish she could love me like I love her, I want that so bad.

She will never love you back . She's in love and happy just not with you.

With that thought I didn't have the urge to call or answer Alex anymore.... and it made it that much easier to leave again.