Draco ran through the castle with tears streaming down his face, he was scared, no scared could not describe what he felt. He knew this was a new feeling but he didn't want to feel this way twords a BOY to be specifically. He couldn't let anyone know that he felt this way twords a boy, his father would be so disappointed.
Its kinda sad that Draco still tried to get his father's approval, he doesn't see why he keeps going at it because whatever he does it's never enough. It's not too late he would normally think, he always had that little bit of hope that made him think that his father wasn't a bad person.
Well of course he didn't want to believe that it's his father after all, most kids would look up to their parents but he didn't. Yes when he was younger and stupider, he thought his father was the most important person in the world. And that blood purity was also important but now as he grew a little older he realized that its not a big deal.
Because he realized that you can't help who you fall in love with, but he refused to feel this way twords a male like himself. That have the same parts as he does or the same statuses as he does. Oh how it would brake his mother's heart because she's always wanted a grandchild.
He didn't know if male wizerds could get pregnant, he never asked the question because there wasn't a need too. He thought he was a normal teenage boy who liked girls, how odd he thought of himself, he liked boys but he wouldn't expect it or even admit it in his thoughts.
There was only one boy who could make him feel this way and it was that damn Potter. Why he had to get in the way all the time no one knew that question, maybe it was because of his big griffondor brain. Or the fact that he lived through a near death experience and it gave him the big brain he has today.
Draco always felt something was off when he would kiss his now ex girlfriend pansy, he thought that it didn't feel right. It was just plain out uncomfortable for him, or when they would attempt to make love. He didn't like it but forced himself to do so anyways, he thought that if he tried a little more that the feeling would go away but quite frankly it didn't.
It didn't matter how hard he tried this feeling would stay the same, he always throught that guy quidditch players where quite handsome but he pushed it aside. He had thought that it was jealousy or something else but sexual attraction. He wanted to bring good to the Malfoy name to make his dad worse but that's not happening.
He's gay and he knew it deep down, he never actually openly admitted it or thought himself so because when he did, he would dismiss the thought from his head. Not wanting to think of it too much, and sometimes the thoughts became to much and it would turn him suicidal.
Draco rushed to his common room trying to escape Pansy and her prying questions that made him even upset. He locked himself in the boys bathroom turning on the water and stripped of his clothing. Oh how he wished he was a normal boy and get a hard on for a girl and not a guy. How embarrassing it was to run away from Potter like that or get a surprise when he was supposed to be yelling at Harry who screamed back.
He thought of it as exciting but he knew he couldn't think of things like that, he couldn't be with Harry because they're sworn enemy's. He didn't even like Potter like that or did he? Why does his mind have to be so messed up like this? What does that boy do to his mind?
Draco stepped into the hot shower as he still was a bit flustered and depressed, he slid down the shower wall quite sobs left his mouth. He truly believed that he was broken and that no one could help him, he was doomed and he knew so. He didn't stop sobbing there he couldn't stop sobbing, it was like all the pain and hurt wanted to leave his mouth but he didn't want it too.
He refused to be weak he didn't like being weak ever, he's a Malfoy after all, his father thought that blood purity and being emotionless was most important. He hid his head in his knees, why can't he accept that fact that he liked boys and not girls? He cried silently. He never knew love, yes his mother loved him to a extent and his father doesn't want him.
