This is true. This is a dream that I had but it was way too vivid to be a dream. Questions were answered. Some still linger here in my heart but we can't have all of the answers. Right? Okay so a little time back I had a dream. The dream started out I was in my grandparents bathroom putting on makeup. I started out twenty one years old. My hair was the same like it is now. It was three different colors. In the dream my heart started racing. I felt like someone was watching me. All of a sudden the bathroom mirror slammed shut. I walked outside as if I was being led there. I passed my Grandparents. Then I walked out the door and from a distance I saw a leather jacket. I knew at once that it was my daddy. Oddly enough when I went outside I was six years old again in a pink princess nightgown. All at once i ran towards the field of wheat where he was standing. His hair was jet black and skin the perfect color of tan. It was as if God made him perfect again. I was not scared at all. Then at once my six year old self began to cry. I screamed "where are you? Why did you leave us here?"
He then just calmly said" I had to Rachelle. I hope you understand"
I then proceeded to say "where were you when my baby was born or when I got married? Or when my sister was gone? Or when bubbys sad? or when my little sisters didnt know you?
Then he had a worried look on his face.He said "Rachelle I was always there." then there was a crack of lightning and he looked scsred. He said " You have to let me go. I wont be mad. If you dont it will kill you." then i remember a strike of vicious lightning and the sky turned grey. Dad said "I have to go Rachelle. Remember what I told you" Then he began to walk away. I was running after him but couldnt run fast enough. As I was running towards him I was growing up. The farther into the field I ran the older I got. The dream ended and I was standing there in the wheat field in a white dress with my dark locks of hair. My make up was running down my eyes. Then I woke up.
When I woke up my heart was beating so fast and I could not breathe at all. It was as if the dream knocked the wind out of me. See I have had dreams about my dad but none have ever been this way. He has never until now conversed with me like this. It felt so real. As if it took my fear away.
Then I realized he was right. There have been some crazy near death experiences I have had and suprisingly I am still here. Then I remember when I was in the labor. The hospital room was dark and I was afraid and I looked up and my dad was there holding a little baby boy. He smiled then he was gone. Then at my wedding I remembered when my Grandpa gave me away I wanted to cry but I felt like someone was hugging me. I know right now my life is in a crazy whirlwind but I know he was right that I need to let go. If I dont it may drive me to insanity or to the point where I do what he did. But the dream gave me hope. So thanks God and thanks Dad. I needed that. :-)
