A Crackhead Halloween (Gyro x Johnny)

Visible Depression on a whole notha level

"Johnny. Why aren't you wearing a costume?" Gyro says, annoyance obvious in his words, as he appraises the totally un-festive Joestar. He himself is dressed as a pizza delivery man, and he was hoping that Johnny would have something fun to wear, but no. Johnny seems to have gone as himself.

"I'm scary the way I am. Ooh, crippling student loan debt. I'm terrifying."

"Come on Johnny! Don't be such a buzzkill, man." Gyro sighs and looks around at the hastily-decorated living room that they're currently standing in, taking in the forms of costumed college graduates, college graduates who seem to care way more about Halloween than Johnny does.

"Where's the alcohol?" Johnny mutters, searching the room for the usual folding table of refreshments. And there it is, stacked with red SOLO cups that may or may not be present at every party (lmao do you think I've EVER been to a party before???) in America.

He meanders over, pausing to look at people's inventive and interesting costumes, such as Joseph and Caesar's Minecraft diamond armor couple costume, and Josuke and Okuyasu's outfit swap ones. They seem to be mocking each other ardently.

"Ooh, I'm Okuyasu, and I got an F on my math test because I wrote 'LOL BLAZE IT' next to my answer that had 420 in it!"

"Well, I'm Josuke, and I have fifteen different types of lice from stealing and using people's hairbrushes!"

"ARE YOU INSULTING MY HAIR?"

Josuke punches Okuyasu so hard that he collapses.

Not wanting to watch ensuing fight, Johnny finishes his journey to the refreshments table, and pours himself a cup of vodka. Not a shot, not two, no, just a red SOLO cup full of rotten potato juice. He figures that this has to last him through the night.

"Drinking away your pain, huh?" Johnny turns to find Jotaro staring at him, an entire bottle of Jack Daniels clenched in his fist. He doesn't really have a costume, either, although he has a shirt on with some skeletons on it, so that kind of counts. It's more festive that what Johnny's wearing, anyway.

"Yeah Lmao." Johnny takes a sip of his Vodka Death Cup (copyright pending) and grimaces. He loves alcohol.

"Haha relatable." Jotaro says in his classic British accent, and gives Johnny a fist bump.

"Nothing in life matters!" They both cheer in unison.

"Don't say that, Johnny!" Gyro says, coming over to his friend. He grabs a brownie from the plate on the table and takes a bite.

"Oh wait don't eat those—" Jotaro tried to warm Gyro, but it's too late.

"What's up with them?"

"Weed. There used to be a sticky note on them but I have no idea where they went."

"Is weed even legal here? We live in America but—"

"In the goodnight homie multiverse weed is legalized. After all, it is better for you than cigarettes, it can't be overdosed on, and its introduction into our economy has both supported us and ended the oppression of minorities, which are effected by the illegality of weed more than whites. Many people have gotten out of jail from trumped up drug charges, and new jobs are being created, which is reintroducing people into our labour force. Due to a lack of work caused by the inaccessibility of higher education, our nation has developed a concerning parallel to the Roman Republic before it fell, and in many other aspects as well, with our globalized economy and social unrest. I worry that one day we may become a dictatorship or a plutocracy, if reforms aren't made quickly. The wage gap is already growing, it isn't like a plutocracy is a crazy, far-fetched concept. And plus, our government is already run by big companies, so we're closer than ever. Our president, Funny Valentine, is more hung up on rallying the people and furthering capitalistic ideals, as well, instead of fighting this system of corporate control—"