𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐊𝐘 𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄 𑁍 𝙖. 𝙠𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩

☾16

☾Stay alive for me.

a/n: kind of a filler chapter for the events that happened before she, the reader, entered the band. this chapter will tackle serious matters, so read with caution if you are easily triggered. i have said this before and i'll say it again: you are worth it and you always will be. i am here for you and i am always proud of you. i love you. stay safe.

- - -

Her tired eyes flew across the room, to the pictures hanged on the wall and down to the small table with the lampshade still shining down light on the open journal sitting atop of the wooden table. She laid her back against the wooden chair she was sitting on, her head hanging back as she focused mainly on the glow-in-the-dark stars sticking on the plain ceiling above her. She bit the inside of her cheek, tears starting to well up within the corners of her puffy eyes.

"Today has been exhausting." She told herself, her hands clenching on their own. Her knuckles began turning into a scary color of white, her nails leaving crescent-shaped marks on her palms as her hands, along with her shoulders, began shaking. She shot up, her legs feeling like jelly underneath her sweatpants. She headed towards the bathroom, opening the door softly before letting herself in. Turning on the lights, she looked at herself in the mirror.

Dark bags were under her eyes, her skin paler than it normally is, and her hair was unwashed since yesterday. "I'm a mess." She whispered to herself, clenching her jaw. Propping her palms flat on the sink, she looked below at the marbled surface and she furrowed her eyebrows–her heart rate was scarily close to the point of a heart attack and her mind was racing with thoughts.

"I- I can't do this!" She frustratedly yelled at herself, tears now finding their way out of her tired eyes. She backed away from the mirror, pressing her back against the cold wall, sliding down the floor with her hands tangled within her hair. Tugging and pulling on the delicate locks, she sobbed; her shoulders violently shaking.

Y/n cried, tears rapidly running down her flushed cheeks, "I'm a failure! I can't do anything right!" She yelled again, her own words bouncing off the walls and back to her–piercing through her heart. Her heart was heavy, her mind was throbbing, and she felt like the whole world turned their backs on her.

She was in the dark; not given the chance to find escape. She silently prayed someone were to pull her out, yet she couldn't even help herself so why would they?

Who was to blame? Was it her? Was it everyone else?

Who?

Her continued to cry, sobs and whimpers getting caught up in her throat. She was suffocating in her sufferings and no one knew; she didn't want them to know. Running her shaking fingers through her knotty hair, she pulled her chin up–looking up the bright light produced by the light bulb above and she blinked out tears. "I need... I need to find myself." She muttered out.

"I don't know who I am anymore."

She stood up, leaning on the sink for support. Wiping her tears with her sleeves, she limped out the bathroom and threw her body on her bed. Soft breathing came from her lips, for she couldn't breathe through her nose anymore, as she stared at the stars on her ceiling with her puffy eyes. She closed them, hoping she could block out the horrors brought by the world.

Suddenly, she phone, that stood still on the nightstand, vibrated. She looked at it, the screen shining brightly but she was too tired to pick it up. After a few seconds, it dimmed down and she closed her eyes again.

Only for it to vibrate once more.

With her fingers, she slid the phone underneath it and looked at the screen. Her blurred vision saw the sight of the text messages across the device; all from her family and friends. She placed it back on the nightstand and closed her eyes again, hoping it wouldn't disturb her.

- - -

She opened her eyes, hissing at the blinding light. She looked around her, still in the messy room she was in, and she laid her head back down. Suddenly, the door opened. She snapped her head towards it and her eyes widened.

"Y/n! Oh my God!" Janick exclaimed, almost running towards her. He pulled her up, gently wrapping his arms around her and hugging her as if she was glass. With the sudden appearance of her dearest friend and the hug she was in, it was overwhelming. She breathed out before burying her head into his chest. New tears erupting from her and sliding down onto his coat.

"We were so worried about you." He mumbled, rubbing her head. She sniffled, pulling away and smiling softly at her friend.

"I'm sorry. . . I just had a rough week. That's-"

Janick shook his head, "You should've tried to talk to me. If I've known sooner I could've visited you earlier." The boy beamed, giving her an assuring smile. She sighed, looking down at her lap in shame.

She closed her eyes, "I- I just think I'm a burden to everyone. That's all."

"No, you dummy." Janick said, trying to lighten up her gloomy mood. She looked up to him, seeing the sincerity within his eyes.

"Everyone around you cares for you! Even if you have weird habits, we all care,"

"But-"

"No, hear me out, Y/n. You are the most special and talented girl I have ever met and I would literally fight for you! And that's an understatement. You've done so many good things in this world– in this city that you deserve everything. You are stronger than whatever's in your mind. Y/n, we love you and we miss you,"

Tears rushed down her cheeks.

"Stay alive for us, okay? Or better yet, stay alive for the beauty of the world, the clouds, the sun–everything. Stay alive. The world's better with you in it."

Y/n looked at Awsten, a smile never fading from the blue-haired boy. "The world's better with you in it." She was so thankful for Janick.

- - -

listen to Story Untold or u get awsten cooties 😔😔😔