Burning Sage

Cold Benches

"Get the fuck off me"! I screamed. He tried to cover my mouth with his hands but it was no use I just continued to bite them until I tasted blood. 

"What the fuck, you dumb bitch" he hissed out, but nothing stopped him. "Don't fight me baby, you know you like that". He started making his way to the zipper of my jeans and my heart dropped. 

I felt weak, useless, I was ready to accept defeat then I realized I couldn't go down without more of a fight, I wouldn't go down like that. I took the last bit of strength I had and I kneed him so hard in his dick that his grip on me had gotten loose. I managed to slip away so I ran to my room as fast as I could and I could hear him way behind me groaning and running a bit slower due to the pain. I hurriedly grabbed my duffle bag and ran, I ran so fast and I knew I was getting farther because the sounds of his footsteps were getting quieter and quieter. I quickly pushed the door open and I knew that my supervisor probably heard the front door open but she didn't care, everyone here could care less about me, especially since I passed the age of 18, I wasn't their responsibility anymore.

With my duffle bag in my hand I kept running, even though I knew I could stop now I still kept running and at this point I couldn't feel my legs anymore. I found a park and so I walked over to the bench and sat, just numb, looking out into the dark night. Suddenly I felt water drops fall on my arm.

 "Fuck, just my luck, of course it would start raining right now" I whispered to myself, but I realized those weren't rain drops those were my tears, and that's when I just really let it all out. 

"Why, I asked myself. What did I ever do to deserve all of this"? I took the bottom of my shirt and started wiping away every snot and every tear.

 I felt like before I was even born my life was written to be a battle that I'm just not made to win or that someone put a curse on me or fuck it maybe I'm just one unlucky ass bitch. but somewhere deep deep inside me I  wanted to stay hopeful, I mean, might as well, right? might as well hold on to something as good and maybe something as unrealistic as hope.

I spent that night on the bench, cold and uncomfortable. I don't even remember when I fell asleep but it couldn't have been too long of a sleep because I remember watching the sun come up for a little. I was woken up by the bright sunlight, sounds of cars,  and people living their everyday lives. I was getting many pity stares and it was starting to annoy me so I got up and decided to head for the nearest gas station to get myself together. I knew it would be quite a walk but it was better then getting stared at all fucking day. 

After like 45 minutes of walking I finally see a gas station. I go into the disgusting bathroom with a hint of piss scent and start getting myself together. "ugh", I said to myself annoyed.

 About 10 minutes later I leave the bathroom, and that's when the feeling of hunger took over. I saw a small coffee shop across the street so I started making my way, then I remembered I only have 2 dollars to my name.

 "What could I get in there for 2 dollars?, ugh guess I'll go find out". I open up the rusty wooden door and right away the awful smell of coffee hit me. I always wondered how people could drink that nasty shit but whatever. 

The coffee shop seemed fairly empty just a few people scattered around but all of them dressed in fancy clothes and looking real important. "Hello welcome to Raw Cocoa where we sell the most organic and tasteful pastries, how may I help you today?" 

At the register was a very beautiful tall man, nice olive skin, curly light brown hair with pretty hazel eyes showing me his pearly whites.

 "Hello may I get a green tea with a croissant" I responded.