Meeting Them (Jayy Von Love Story)

Chapter One

Kellin

Have you ever felt like you were completely alone? Like you had no one to turn to? Like you had been switched at birth? Like there's nowhere for you to go? Like everyone you used to look up to when you were just a kid had vanished? Like you had been turned around and pushed out the door since no one wanted you? Like if you did one thing wrong you would be beat within an inch of your life? Like there was no one anywhere you could talk to? Like the only thing you could turn to was your pet? Like no one would be there for you when you need them the most? Like the only way to get taken away from the misery of your life was to take your own life?

Well, you're not alone. I know exactly how you feel. I live in fear every day, hoping my parents and brother won't hurt me again.

Ya see, ever since I was seven, either my mom, dad, or older brother would rape me. I had even reverted to being completely mute. I haven't uttered a sound since I was eight, after the millionth time I was wrapped. So now, I shall ask; Do you know what it's like to hide your face from everyone? Do you know what it's like to get bullied and abused every day?

I do and I hate it.

Every day, before I go to school, I make sure my raccoon-style hair is hiding my two white piercings and my white-irised eyes. But, no matter how much I try to blend in with the crowd, I am always discovered. It's heartrending.

They always call me the freak and push me into lockers, making me bite my lip, push away, and walk down the hall, listening to everyone call me horrible names for no reason.

I mean, before all of this started, a lot of them used to be my friends. I used to be close to some people but then, my brother started raping me, and everyone stayed away from me, thinking I was the freak. But, I didn't mind much, it gave me time to wallow in self-pity.

So, as I walk down the hall, hiding behind my light brown and white raccoon hair, I listen to everything around me, thinking, 'Why me? What did I do to deserve this'? But, I stayed silent as I walked through the long corridor, listening to everything they said about me. I'd heard worse anyway so I didn't care much about what they said about me. I just ran my fingers through my raccoon hair and sighed quietly.

I walked into my home room and took my seat in the back corner of the room, lying my head down on the desk. I close my eyes and thinking of the day I went completely silent.

'I was staring up at my brother as he came toward me, completely naked. I whimper and whisper, "What are you doing, derrick?" He just chuckled and came up to me, crushing his lips against mine.

'I screamed against his mouth and pushed him away. He punched me in the nuts and I groan, doubling over. He came up to me and slapped me. I looked at him and didn't speak, just screamed. He crammed himself down my throat and I freaked out even more. He snapped "Blow me!" I snuffled and did as I was told. He moaned and released in me. He moaned really loud an shoved me against the wall, cramming himself further down my throat.

'After that, he came out and took me to his room, throwing me on the bed and raping me. I had screamed the whole time.

'Right after, he told me that if I told anyone about this, I would get hurt. I just sniffled, nodded, and vowed to myself that I would never make another sound as long as I lived.'

As I reminisced, I felt a single tear go down my face and my chin tighten as my emotions got the better of me. Then, I felt someone's hand on my back and I look up, looking into the golden eyes of a girl I had never seen before. She gives me a look of sympathy. "Are you okay?"

I shake my head but keep my vow and don't utter a sound. She looks at me. "I'm Lacey. What's your name?"

I shake my head again and put it back down on the desk, staring at the white wall. She turns her head so she could look into my eyes. "Hey, smile; it'll brighten your day. And, I love you're eyes. Are they real?"

I nod, answering the second question, ignoring her first statement. She sighs but smiles. "That's so cool. How come you have white eyes?"

I shrug an look at the door as Logan walks in. He looks at Lacey. "Lace, why are you talking to the freak?"

"Why are you so mean to people, Logan? What did he ever do to you?"

"He goes to my school." Logan comes up to where I was and smacks me upside my head. I didn't feel it since I was already numb from the rape I had just endured a few minutes ago; I still hurt from it.

I just look up at him and part my lips. This was the first time he had ever seen my face and he looked totally freaked out by it. His dark brown eyes pop open and his jaw drops. "You have white eyes?!"

I nod and let my raccoon-style bangs fall in front of my eyes, hiding my face from view. He backed away, and I looked down, thinking that it was true, that I was a freak.

I push out of the chair and walk out of the classroom, going down the hall and listening to my Converse squeak against the polished marble floor. I look down and watch the white tips of my bright red Converse come and go from my view, thinking that this was exactly how my whole life was; no one ever stayed with me, they all just abandoned me eventually and never looked back at me since I was the weird mute kid no one wanted.

I look up as I come to the door. I push it open and walk out into the blinding sunlight. I go behind the wall, run my fingers through my hair, put my back against the cold brink wall, slide down until I was sitting, rake my fingers through my hair, keep my fingers in my hair, squeeze my eyes shut, pull my knees up to about halfway bent, bare my teeth, and feel tears burn trails down my face. I let them, too, not caring if anyone saw me like this. I was ready to just curl up in a ball and die anyway. So, I couldn't really care less right now.

Then, I remember what I used to whisper to myself over and over when I was little and struggling with staying quiet. 'It will all be over soon'.

If I would've known then what I knew now, I would've told myself that it was stupid to believe that. But, I can't go back in time now and never will be able to.

As I cry, I pull out a small blade, put it to my wrist, cut open the flesh and watch the warm crimson course out of my arm, dripping off my wrist. I cut another section and grit my teeth, carving 'FREAK' in my arm. I look over at my right arm and see the white scars that spelled out 'UNWANTED' and 'UNLOVED' perfectly. I half-smile and more tears course down my face and I look at the crimson flowing down my arm.

I eventually black out from blood-loss. I was in blackness for the first time in a while.