Part 2 - 2014

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"If I could take your hand
If you could understand
That I can barely breath the air is thin
I fear the fall and where we'll land"

"If I could take your handIf you could understandThat I can barely breath the air is thinI fear the fall and where we'll land"

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--2014--

  "State your name."

  "I just did." I almost spit my words at Steve Rogers. All I want to do is get the hell out of here and get to James. He's out there, alone, sill under the Winter Soldier's control.

  "State your name."

  "I can see why James likes you so much," I chuckle, aware of how crazy my voice sounds. "You're so...persistent."

  "State your name."

  "As I said before, I'm y/n y/l/n. You got me. What else do you want ?"

  "What is your connection to B... the Winter Soldier ?"

  I chuckle even more nervously. "You can't bring yourself to say his name."

  "Because it's not him."

  "Don't you think I know that ?" I'm nearly shouting now and my hands move fast even though they're handcuffed to the table. "I know." Even I can feel my voice break on this word.

  "You don't know Bucky," Steve says. "You never knew him."

  "You're wrong." It's like I'm seeing everything around me in red and god, do I want to punch that man in his perfect teeth. "I know all there is to know about James Barnes, you hear me ? Don't you dare say otherwise."

  He leans back in his chair and his eyes go wide with surprise. I sniff and realise there're tears on my cheeks. I look away from him for the first time during this stupid interrogation and I can tell he can't believe what's happening in front of him.

  "You love him."

  I don't answer.

  "What else do you wanna know ?" I'd rather answer his stupid questions than talk about how I feel. H.Y.D.R.A.'s gonna kill me anyway and if this man can help Bucky when I'm gone, then it's for the best.

  "Your whole story. From the beginning."

  "Well, it all started in 1984, when I my parents died..." Memories shoot through my brain and they're as painful as bullets.

--1984--

  "Y/n ! Dinner's ready !"

  "I'm coming !" I yell in the staircase. My mom's here and so is my dad. My sister's at our friend's house and she's staying there for dinner so it's just the three of us. We sit around the table, listening to the radio and eating what my mom made. We talk as we always do and we laugh. That's why when the bomb hits us, we don't see it coming. It's just one big explosion during which I can see my mom's smile turn into a painful grin and hear my father's laugh turn into a cry. I scream and shout and cry my heart out under the ruins and it's all over and I know it. At least my sister's safe, that's good. Mom. Where is Mom ? I turn my head and-
  There she is-
  Lying on the floor and-
  Oh my God, there's so much blood and she's not breathing. I call out 'Mom' for a thousand time and I can't even see my dad. I close my eyes and start sobbing. My back hurts like hell and I can't feel my legs. Just before I pass out, I see feet running towards us. When I wake up, everything's changed and I know it before I even open my eyes. Mom and Dad are- no. I can't think about it.

  "Shhh, everything's fine, little girl."

  I open my eyes to see who's talking to me. It's a woman and I can tell she's quite old. Her soft tone contrasts with her severe looks.

  "Where am I ?" I ask, confused.

  "Somewhere safe, don't worry."

  "But where ?"

  "This is the Red Room. Trust me, we're gonna take care of you."

--2014--

  "So you're telling me you were trained in the Red Room ?" Steve asks.

  "Yes." I look around at the grey walls. The room is light and clean but it still feels like a prison. I hate it.

  "And how did you meet him ? How come you started working with the Winter Soldier ?"

  I'm not sure if I want to say it. Even James doesn't know about this and I'm definitely not gonna tell Steve Rogers, right ? I sigh.

  "My aptitudes were higher than the other girls'. That's why as soon as I turned eighteen, they..." I gulp. This is too hard. Nobody's never broken me before -H.Y.D.R.A. made sure of that- and that's not Rogers who's gonna do it either.

  "And then they what ?"

  "No comment." I look back at my hands. He won't break me.

  "Tell me."

  "I don't want to."

  Steve clenches his jaws and fists on the table. "C'mon, y/n, I don't want to make you tell me."

  "Then don't."

  "You're really not helping, you know ?" He sighs and leans back in his chair. His features soften and sadness fills his eyes. "I thought you'd care enough about Bucky to help us." He gets up and I try to hide how awful his words make me feel. I want to save James. Of course I do. But revealing everything won't help him. I'm the one who has to do it, not Steve. Steve looks at his friend, a guy I can identify as the Falcon, a.k.a Sam Wilson. "Put her back in her cell. And don't let her touch you."

  He knows I'm too powerful for them and that I'd get a hold of the keys by touching Sam's shoulder. He knows the only way to beat me is locking me up. Wilson tells me to get up and I go along. What else can I do ? I'll figure something out. Eventually. When he tosses me in my cell and locks the door, I lay down on the crappy bed they gave me and I look at the ceiling. James is all I can think about. Where is he ? What is he doing ? Will he kill Steve ? Part of me doesn't want him too. Killing Howard and Maria was already his worst mission. If he kills Steve... James will never forgive the Winter Soldier. He'll never forgive himself.

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