The Vixen | Sirius Black

3.9 (h)

"I'll have some tea," Remus answered her earlier question. Two chipped teacups floated from a cabinet, along with the steaming kettle, the sugar jar and a single teabag. Remus watched curiously as she took a small, mesh bag filled with something dark purple and brown, and dropped it into one of the cups.

"It's belladonna," she explained before he could ask. "For the headaches."

"Isn't belladonna poisonous?"

"Apparently so. But not to me." She didn't elaborate, only dumping milk and sugar into the cup with the traditional English tea and levitating it over to Remus. He sipped at it delicately, scepticism etched along with the scars on his face as he watched her gulp down the dark purple liquid.

"Why wouldn't it be poisonous to you?" He contemplated.

As if she knew.

"Don't you know any mending spells, Moony?" She changed the subject, glaring at her cup in distaste, then tapping the rim of it with her wand. The chips in the porcelain filled themselves with a quiet clink, the worn surface repolishing itself until it was as good as new.

"Things like that don't really bother me," he shrugged his shoulders, inspecting his own cup. He looked up when he noticed movement from Lynn, only to find his desk was larger and made of mahogany, and all the papers on his desk was being sorted into a new letter tray. "Lynn, stop redecorating my office."

"It didn't match the drawers," she whined, but lowered her wand anyway. She glanced out the window, where there was a perfect view of the sun just peeking out above the mountains, the last rays of sunshine cold on her skin. "The moon'll be out soon."

"You sure you want to stay?" He got up and placed his cup at the edge of his desk, tugging his robes tighter around his frail bones. That part of him that yearned for company wanted to cling to the bottom of her robes and demand that she stay, her presence giving him a warm comfort, a sense of security, because if something went wrong and the potion didn't work, he could trust Lynn to prevent any accidents while he was a werewolf.

Another part of him wanted to push her out the door and slam it shut, to refuse to allow her to witness his vulnerability, despite having already seen the worst parts of him.

"If you want me to." She watched him carefully, how he struggled to even stay on his feet- the full moon had never affected him this badly before a transformation. When he was at school most full moons, he was able to force himself to attend classes prior to the evening. Time truly had not been kind to Remus. "To keep you company."

She almost missed the tiny nod of his head. "I missed you, you know." He raised his eyes hesitantly to meet hers. "It wasn't overly fantastic, being alone."

"I missed you too," she said simply.

She truly did. She often laid awake at night the years after the war, wondering where he was and if he was safe, well aware of his self-loathing and lack of care towards himself. But she had to bite down the snide remarks that wanted to be spoken. Why didn't you send a bloody owl then?

It wasn't like she had any better coping mechanisms.

"How are you holding up?"

How was she holding up? She had refused to even ask herself that question, the events of the past few months happening so quickly she barely had time to think on it. Most nights she was tempted not to take the belladonna and allow the hallucinations a chance to manifest. At least then she would find it easier to bury the memories she thought she had drowned long ago.

"I'm fine."

"Liar."

Well-practiced to the point where, sometimes, she even believed all the lies herself.