Clean

Chapter 13

Love,

Lily, Karlie, Gigi, Ed, Emma, Martha'

Taylor put down the letter with tears in her eyes. She picked up the scrapbook. She opened the first page and let out a teary laugh. She came face-to-face with an old Polaroid of their first hangout 'January, 23rd 2014 Funniest. Hangout. Ever.'. Taylor marveled at how young they all looked. Time passed by so fast.

She looked at picture after picture. Karlie had even put some pictures of their road trip in there. Taylor found herself staring at Karlie's face much longer than the others. She missed her. She missed her more than she liked to admit.

She found pictures of the first show she had played with Ed. Lily's first fashion show she had attended. The first time she had played the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. It was all there. All the milestones they had celebrated together. All the fun nights they had had together. All the crazy things they had done together.

By the end of the book she was completely overwhelmed. She felt so loved. Yet so alone. She wanted to go home. But she couldn't until she got better.

One month later

"How come you're treating me to two nights of Broadway musicals in a row?" Kariann asked, suspicion in her voice.

"You've always talked about musicals. I mean you know the 'Hamilton' cast recording by heart, even the rap parts. I thought that it was finally time for you to see the actual show. And Taylor once said that 'Dear Evan Hansen' is awesome, too. So I thought, why not?"

"Oh Taylor said," Kariann laughed. "I see where your sudden love for Broadway is coming from."

"Shut up," Karlie said as she threw a pillow at her younger sister.

"Speaking of Taylor, how's the mission 'getting your girlfriend back' going?"

"I still have to come up with some grand romantic gesture. It's what Taylor deserves after everything. I want her to see how serious I am about us and how ready I am to be with her no matter how complicated it might get."

"Why would Taylor not want to be with you?"

"She doesn't wanna drag me into her life, basically. She doesn't want the paparazzi to be following my every step, she doesn't want shitty articles written about me, she doesn't want me to get hate on the internet. She wants to keep me save and she wants me to have a life as normal as possible. To add to that, she's also convinced she's not good enough for me."

"Then just tell her she's wrong," Kariann grinned. She didn't get why Karlie was making such a big deal out of this. From where she was standing things appeared to be so easy, so simple. Karlie loved Taylor and Taylor loved Karlie. Wasn't that what relationships were all about at the end of the day?

"You know, I actually know what I want to tell her but Kari, she's the writer in this relationship. She's so good with words. She always knows the right thing to say. I don't. You know those situations where in the moment your tongue is tied and have absolutely no idea how to react, what to say but then when you're alone a little while later you're like, 'Damn, I should've said that'? That's exactly what happens when I try to tell Taylor how serious I am about us, when I try to tell her I don't care about what happened and that I love and support her no matter what," Karlie sighed.

"Okay, so basically what you need her to understand is that you love her, despite everything she is going through and that this is between the two of you and no one else. What the rest of the world says about you two, what would change for you doesn't matter. This is between you and Taylor."