poetry for the tired soul.

fear of a nobody

im fucking tired

im fucking tired all day long

and i have no one to talk to about it all

cause im afraid they'll get me wrong

paranoid, paranoid, paranoid.

that is what they call me.

but they never knew how hard it hit me

how hard it punch me in the face

they dont know the struggle i put through my whole day trying not to be, PARANOID.

you're overthinking they say

you have to enjoy life they say

you have to let yourself be free they say

YOU HAVE TO,

YOU MUST,

YOU SHOULD !

....they say.

But little did they know,

no matter how much they say they understand

..they know how it felt

..they been in my fight before

when the truth is, the current situation is different. 

they've been through it, i havent.

so it's hard, it's very fucking hard to let evrything go

to let myself free

to let myself be open to something they say i shouldn't be afraid of, LETTING THEM IN.

i know they mean well, i feel touch for their concern but..

..I NEED TIME. 

i need time to heal

i need time to let myself  free

 i need time to know you

 i need time to trust you...

i need time to....love myself.

im sorry...

im sorry im such a nuisance

im sorry im such a pain in the ass

im sorry i havent made things easier for everyone.

im....SORRY.

i love all of you with all i have.

________________________________________________________________________________author's note:

this has nothing to do with life and death. its just thought that suddenly came dancing to my mind while i was listening to some songs.

please give it some piece of loving from ur heart.

#notexpectingtobeanyreadersatall

hehehehe 

bye XOXO.