𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐊𝐘 𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄 𑁍 𝙖. 𝙠𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩

☾11

☾I can make you feel alive. I know, but do I need you to survive?

- - -

     He always had these days–where in he'd just lay in bed with his eyes trained upon the ceiling above him. Awsten felt so weak and vulnerable during these days, but he could care less. He was strong, yes, but even the strongest of people have breaking points. This was one of them, finding Awsten with his anxiety and depression letting themselves out that not even a lick from Jet to his cheek couldn't make him smile. He didn't feel like anything, as if his emotions were caged within him, and the only thing he could be was being numb. The sound of birds singing outside was distant and faint that he didn't even hear the knock and doorbell ringing from downstairs.

"Awsten?" Y/n called out, furrowing her eyebrows as she knocked again. His car was here and he hasn't been in the studio, so why wasn't he answering? She shook her head and twisted the door open, which–surprisingly–opened. She let herself inside, hoping Awsten wouldn't mind. Instead of him greeting her, it was Jet. She patted the cat's head and closed the door behind her. She looked around, shivering at the cold aura the house unusually gave.

"Awsten?"

Times like this, Awsten made zero effort to move. He didn't even take a shower nor eaten anything since the morning. He simply laid on the bed with awful thoughts running through his head. Thoughts that pulled him down, drowning him in his own self-pity. He was pale, paler than he was before, and dehydrated. The door opened slowly, but he didn't bother to look at it. The sound of the door squeaking and the floor creaking underneath their weight was still faint to the blue-haired boy. Memories of her replayed in his mind, trying to grasp the reality that the girl he once loved with all his heart broke him down into pieces he can't even get himself to fix.

There was that time he had to carry her down the stairs everyday, not because she was lazy, he just loved carrying her when he could. There was also the way her nose twitch, the one he always loved because it made her seem so adorable but she was self-conscious that she despised it. Memories of how they'd stay up late to talk about stuff, memories of how she would do random things and it would give him inspiration–it haunted him.

He felt the bed dip besides him, but he didn't turn his head towards it. A warm hand was placed on top of his forehead and to his cheek, as if they were trying to feel if he had a fever but, sadly, he didn't. "Aws?" Y/n. Her voice seemed distant that Awsten felt tears welling up behind his eyelids. He didn't mean to shut everyone out, he just couldn't take it. He didn't want to drag them into his mess–it was his, as he would say, and it would make it worse if other people get involved. The hand then trailed down to his, giving a soft squeeze.

"Have I ever told you about the time I tripped over a turtle?" She giggled. What is she doing? Awsten thought, his eyes slowly making their way to her. She was talking, he could see that, but all he could hear was her muffled voice over the darkness that was slowly deflating as soon as he focused all his senses towards her.

". . .I didn't know it was there so I. . ."

Was she always this pretty? Awsten asked himself, tired eyes trained upon the girl besides him. With one hand on top of the other and her free hand gesturing to stuff as she talked, she was. . . adorable. Awsten blinked again, turning his hand to squeeze hers. She looked back at him and smiled, pushing out the hair in his forehead.

"You okay?"

Awsten nodded. She smiled widely and stood up, she held her hand towards him and he grabbed it.

—–

"Why don't you write down how you feel?" She said from the kitchen, crouching down to feed Awsten's pets. Awsten sat in the couch, the television playing in the background as he looked at the notebook on top of the coffee table. It was two in the afternoon, after Y/n helped him out of bed and cooked him brunch–he took a long and hot bath before joining her in the living room. He slowly reached out for the notebook, his shaky fingers going underneath the thin sheets and he picked it up.

There was silence for a while, Awsten's scribbling was heard throughout the living room. Y/n patted Jet one last time before going to the living–seeing the blue-haired boy with his nose in his notebook and the end of his black pen sticking out of the layers of sheets. She took a seat besides him and he looked up, smiling at her. "Do you need anything, Aws?" She was so kind, Awsten was grateful for her.

He shook his head and handed her the notebook. Inside the page was sentence by sentence of rage-filled lyrics–that made her laugh. "Turbulent?" She raised an eyebrow and he nodded, pointing at a certain sentence which she instantly read out loud. "I'd unfuck you if I could?" She laughed, throwing her head back. Awsten chuckled as well, a blush spreading across his porcelain cheeks.

"How 'bout "I'd unlove you like I should"? It's more PG-friendly." She smiled and Awsten handed her the pen. She wrote underneath the lyric she just read out loud and handed Awsten back the notebook.

They remained silent for a moment and, much to her surprise, Awsten was the first to break it.

"Thank you."

She turned her head towards him, smiling softly at her friend, "For what?"

"For saving me. Again."