Live Complicated, Genesis

Chapter 1

I woke up with a nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach; something was wrong. Looking around at the unfamiliar surroundings flashbacks came to my mind of the awful night I had. My nether regions throbbed with a ferocity that was like nothing I'd ever felt before. I felt empty, someone had stolen something that was so precious to me. Silently I bowed my head and prayed to the Heavenly Father that He give me strength to get through this trying time.
After I prayed I called one of my best friends Melissa. "Melissa", my voice cracked as I answered the phone. "I think someone raped me."
   I heard a sharp intake of breath on the other end of the phone followed by an anxious sounding Melissa practically screaming, "Are you ok?!"
    To which I answered, "I don't know, there has to be some reason this happened to me, I just don't know yet." I couldn't get the thought of the night prior out of my head, the not knowing what happened or who did it frightened me.
   "Are you going to take the morning after pill?" Melissa inquired softly knowing how hard the decision would be for me.
    "I can't do it. I could not live with myself knowing I potentially could cut off a helpless baby's life before they could even live it. Plus, you know how I feel about contraception, I believe that I'll be blessed with a child when the Lord thinks I am ready for one, so there is no need for it." I responded without hesitation, I knew my decision was controversial, but the beauty of it was I was the sole decider along with God as my guider.
   "Okay, I will be here for you no matter what happens, and I'll respect any decision you make." Melissa reassured me. Knowing that J had someone above me and some one with me to have my back made my circumstances so much easier. I don't think I could do it without either of them.
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The Next Day
  My core felt like a thousand needles were being thrusted into it at the same time. I knew I had to go to work, yet it seemed an insurmountable task at the moment. From the pain I felt I knew that my first time was not gentle like I'd hoped it would be, but rough and painful as I had always feared.
   Work seemed to drag on, but I am a to keep myself busy throughout the day to keep my mind off of the assault that plagued me. No matter how many files I filed, or how many meetings I set up I still couldn't keep myself busy enough to temporarily forget the events that took place two nights prior.
   My body's and mind couldn't fathom the proceedings of that night, and not being able to piece together what happened just made it worse. I hated the feeling of uncertainty, but I needed to be patient and trust that the Lord will guide me through this unsteady period of my life.
    I needed a break from all the chaos in my mind, so I took my lunch break and went and sat in my car listening to Crowder. His songs always seemed to help me through tough times and right now was one of those times. I lived the feeling of being able to immerse myself in the music, and just give my problems to the Lord.
   Too quickly my lunch break was over, and I needed to return to work. Fortunately my job as a personal assistant did not require a lot of face to face interaction today. I had a meeting in two days I needed to audit, but other than that I mostly keep my boss organized, set up meetings, and get coffee every once in a while. The job isn't difficult in the sense that it required a degree, it is difficult in the sense of retaining a specific amount of diplomacy to keep everything running smoothly.