Starting A Fresh

Chapter 1 - Memory Loss

Ravens POV

My eyes flicker open I have no idea where I am and I am scared, where is Carl he wouldn't just leave me would he?  I know he's an arse whole but even so he not that callous but wait was I on holiday or something as all I can hear are American voices.  Then I felt a movement at the side of my bed and when I looked down there was a man lying well half sitting in the chair and half lying over the bed but who was he I had no clue but he looked nice so I shook his arm and oh my God when he looked at me I felt a jolt of electricity run down my body, those hazel eyes looked so happy and his smile everything was just gorgeous but I had no idea why he was there and Carl wasn't.  He spoke first "hi I am so happy your awake" was all he said and so I replied "thanks but who are you and where's Carl?" with that one sentence the room atmosphere changed and the smile was wiped from his lips and his eyes "you don't remember me do you?" "I am sorry but no and where am I?" "Your in hospital in America you have been living here for a few months with me.  My name is Dylan".

He must have seen the total bewilderment in my face as this information filtered through to my brain but I couldn't remember anything and certainly not this guy calling himself Dylan the last thing I remember was having an argument with Carl and him hitting me so what the hell was happening but something told me that this guy was telling me the truth and for some unknown reason I trusted him.  He got up to leave and I grabbed his hand "don't leave I believe you but I can't remember.  Please I need to understand tell me more about my life out here with you and how I ended up here in hospital I need to try to put the pieces back together" "ok not a problem" and so he stayed for a while and informed me if my new life with him our dogs and my new bestfriends Tyler and Charlie and then he had to go to let the dogs out and apparently my parents were coming to see me so he was getting the spare room ready.

When he had left I felt alone like someone had taken away my light and I was left in the dark.  He was my light but why then could I not remember a thing about us, the dogs, my home and my bestfriends this was so confusing and I didn't understand I wanted to so badly but I couldn't.  At this point the doctor came in to find me crying "hey Raven what's the matter?" "Why can't I remember anything?" "It's called short term amnesia it cal last for a couple of days to months" "but I will get it back won't I?" "Yes you should" "good because I feel like this was the happiest I had been in a while with him but I can't remember.  I want to remember it's tearing me apart and I think no sorry I know I have upset him and that broke me as well" "I am sorry Raven but it will take time there's no quick fix for this and they come back disjointed which may cause anxiety" "ok thanks for being honest" and with that he left the room.

I just lay there staring at the ceiling as I  couldn't move I knew I was in traction but I had been so wound up about the memory loss I had forgot to ask the doctor about that well hell I had time and Dylan had informed me about the breaks ect.  He was so sweet why couldn't I remember him why was I still stick in my bad times with Carl had something happened just before the crash that was making me remember one and not the other I didn't know but I was going to find out that was my goal for now as I wanted to get back to happy and I know it wasn't with Carl.

The next thing I knew I heard the door open I must of drifted off and in walked Dylan with two people I didn't know I did not a clue who they were till Dylan introduced my two best friends to me Tyler and Charlie "Raven hi remember this morning when I explained about Charlie and Tyler well here they are" all I could do was smile and say "hi" they both smiled Tyler held it together but Charlie had years in her eyes but they both stepped forward and hugged me again it felt so normal and good but I was afraid because I couldn't remember and I said "I am sorry really I am but I can't remember any of you and I want too I promise as I can see the hurt I am causing so I promise I will try my hardest to get back to the girl I was but the doctor says it could take weeks to months so please bear with me" and with that I burst out crying "please don't cry it's fine we understand" was what the girl Charlie said then hugged me.  When I composed myself I looked at Dylan not the best idea as my hear broke seeing him upset but holding it together "by the way Dylan had my mam and dad arrived yet?" "Yes they are unpacking and coming on the next visit ok" "yes thanks they might help me" "yeah I hope so" and then we sat for while in silence until I couldn't stand it anymore and said "ok so I can't remember anything but can you please talk to me as it could help" Dylan just smiled and said "yeah sure sorry it's just hard but yeah your mam and dad turned up about an hour ago and they are fine but tired.  I have updated them about what happened and how you are so you don't have to hope that's ok" "yes it's fine thank you I appreciate that" I wanted him to touch me again I liked the feeling I got when he touched me but he didn't he say the furthest away from me and I felt broken in so many different ways as I had done this with my first words to him but I would do anything to put that right and I would that was another thing I was going to do.

Charlie sat on the edge of the bed and got her phone out "I don't know if this will help but I have photos on my phone of us" "yes please can I see them" and with that we started to look through the photos.  There were alot of me hugging and kissing Dylan in different places and photos with Charlie and Tyler but my favourites were the ones with me, the dogs and dylan.  Charlie laughed as I kept going back to the photos if me and Dylan and she could see I was desperately trying to remember and she whispered to me "it will come back and we will all be fine but until then we keep it going with photos" I just smiled and nodded and then it was time for them to leave I noticed Dylan held back and let Tyler and Charlie say goodbye first then he stepped forward and I thought here we go the touch I have been waiting for and when he took my hand in his the electricity shot through me and I didn't want to let go and then he bent forward and whispered softly "I will be back later with your mam and dad.  I love you I hope you know that and will always be here for you what ever happens." "I know" was all I says as I pulled his hand towards me and kissed it and smiled "small steps" he just smiled back and kissed the back of my hand the same way and again it was like an electric shock and then he left and I drifted off to sleep again but this time I was smiling instead of crying.