Gravity Falls Pines Triplets (Original Version)

Dipper vs Manliness

He tipped his fez as Lazy Susan left to get his order.

Mara looked at her uncle with a clearly offended expression.

"Did you just call me 'grease monkey'?"

"Yeah, I figured 'girl' wasn't the right word to describe you of all people" said Stan a bit insensitively.

"But I am a girl!" argued Mara.

Stan leaned forward exasperatedly.

"Look, no offense, kid, but you neither look or act like a girl. Most girls don't dedicate their time to creating creating inventions, weapons, or machines of destruction. There's nothing wrong with you: you've just got some very weird, unconventional hobbies that most would consider disturbing. You're just not a normal girl."

Mara's face was starting to turn red in anger, as she adjusted her camo bandana with one hand. Her hobbies, disturbing? Is that what Grunkle Stan really thought about her inventions? Is that really what he thought of her: weird, unconventional, disturbing? Not a normal girl? And he didn't even know about the 'thing'...

"Grunkle Stan, I want pancakes" said Mabel, noticing her sister's face starting to contort in anger and trying to change the subject.

"Ha! With the fancy flour they used in those pancakes? What am I, made of money?"

He lifted his arms up for emphasis, and a dollar bill slipped from his suit's sleeve.

"Tap tap" he said as he used his hand to tap it back into his sleeve.

"Aw."

The girls both looked down sadly.

Dipper felt sorry for his sisters. To be honest, he was kind of craving pancakes as well.

Just then, something caught his eye: a huge machine that said 'Test your manliness' with a plate of pancakes stacked sitting on a stool next to it. On the pancake stand was a sign pointing towards the Manliness tester game that said, 'Win game, Free Pancakes!'

Dipper grinned, and then cracked his knuckles.

"Don't worry guys, pancakes are on me" he said. "I'm gonna win some by beating that manliness tester."

The three of them stared at him.

"Manliness tester?" Stan asked.

"Beating?" asked Mabel.
"You?" asked Mara.

The three of them all suddenly burst out laughing, laughing even harder than ever. Stan was beating his fist against the table again.

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

"What?" Dipper asked, feeling slightly offended. "What's so funny?"

"Oh, no offense, Dipper" said Mabel, "But you're not exactly 'Manly Manington'."

She started laughing some more.

Now Dipper felt insulted.

"Hey!" he said offendedly. "I am to, manly...manny...whatever you just said."

"Look, face the music kid" said Stan. "You've got no muscle, you smell like baby wipes, and let's not forget last Tuesday's...incident."

Flashback:

Dipper was in the bathroom with a towel around his waist as he was dancing and singing into a comb to a song that was playing on the radio next to him.

"Disco girl, coming through!

That girl is you!

Ooh ooh, ooh ooh!"