Spiderwoman

27

I attached one of my natural webs to the corner of the room where he was standing and swung toward him like Tarzan, kicking him in the face. I landed and kicked the guy again just to be sure. I turned around to see the guy I'd kicked in the balls getting up, and sucker punched him too. 

I tapped the glasses I was now wearing twice to activate them. "Mia, where am I?" 

"You are at an ex-S.H.I.E.LD base in Manhattan." 

"Oh, you have got to be shitting me. Is this some kind of stupid fucking training exercise? Mia, scan the room for cameras." 

"There is an activated camera in the left corner of the room." I turned around and rolled my eyes. I just glared at the camera and flipped it off. 

I walked over to the door and found it was locked. I sighed. I kicked my leg through the wooden door and it broke. I kicked it again and knocked the handle off. The door swung open and I was met with a room full of Avengers. I glared at all of them and Tony pressed a button. 

"And it took Dani 3 minutes, 25.7 seconds from waking up to escape. That is a new record. And she's 15."

"Wow, Stark, you finally got my age right. What the fuck am I even doing here?" 

"Language." 

"Don't you fucking language me, Rogers. I just got knocked out, kidnapped and then forced to fight a bunch of dumbasses for what reason exactly?" 

Clint mumbled something I couldn't understand. 

"I'm sorry what?"

"We uh, made a bet on how long it would take you to get out of a hostage situation." 

I slowly blinked and took a deep breath. I clenched my fists. 

"I just got fake kidnapped for A STUPID FUCKING BET?!?!" 

"Uh, yes?" 

"And who's genius idea was this?" 

Everyone pointed at Clint who was looking all around the room. I walked up to the culprit and grabbed the front of his shirt. 

"Clint Barton, I swear to God, if you ever pull anything like that again, I will make your life a living hell. Understand?" There must have been some kind of very scary look on my face because Clint nodded rapidly and gulped. I let go of his shirt and smirked. 

"Good." I walked back and looked at everyone else. "So, who won?" 

Everyone still looked shocked and slightly scared at my outburst but Tony put up his hand. "I won. I'd said you'd get out in under 5 minutes, Wanda and Nat gave you 7, Cap & Bucky said 10 and Clint thought 15. Sam said you wouldn't take any less than a half hour and we didn't let Vision say anything because he would be able to predict the outcome by analysing your fighting pattern."

"Wow, Sam, your lack of faith wounds me. And, how did this traumatizing bet begin?"

24 hours earlier… 

Fury had come over to Avengers Tower to see how everyone was getting on with being together again. They were all sat down and talking, when Fury mentioned that one of the new reformed Shield agents had beaten Natasha's time on one of the classic initiation exercises. When he mentioned it, Clint spat out his drink and the others looked at the agents in confusion in confusion. 

"I'm sorry, what is he talking about?" Tony asked. 

"In order to become an Agent of Shield, every hopeful is tested unknowingly. Trained agents kidnap them and take them to a secure base, and tie them to a chair. They are then timed from the second they wake up to how long it takes for them to get out the door. If they take any longer than an hour, they don't get in. They are tied up, arms duct taped together and legs and torso tied to the chair with rope. There is 1 door in the room, which is guarded by an agent. Another agent stands in the corner, in the dark, and a final agent points a gun at their head." Hill explained, taking a sip of her wine at the end. 

"Natasha left the room in a record-breaking time of 4 minutes, 13.6 seconds." Clint explained. 

"Exactly. But yesterday, an agent managed to escape in 4 minutes, 11.3 seconds. Thus breaking her record." Maria replied looking at Natasha who was surprisingly calm. 

"Why didn't we have to go through this?" Steve asked. 

"You were all hired for the specific purpose of the Avengers Initiative, sans Romanoff and Barton. And since most of you have powers, it seemed unfair to test you against regular agents." Fury shrugged. 

"Please, my kid could get out in under 5 minutes." Tony bragged. 

"5 minutes? Dude, she's 15." Sam said in disbelief. 

"With her suit sure, but without it she'd take at least 10." Bucky doubted Tony's confidence for not the first time.

"You don't know her like I do, she could do it. Oh well, I'll guess we'll never know." 

"Unless…"

"Oh no. You are not doing that to the kid."

"Come on, she wouldn't get hurt. We could even place a little bet on it." Clint tried to reason. 

"Fury? Tell Katniss here that he can't do that to Dani." 

"I don't know Stark, I would like to see Parker in action for myself." 

"You have gotta be shitting me."

"Steve! He said a bad word." 

"Are you people still on that?" 

"Come on, Stark, what harm could it do? If you're so confident in her abilities what are you worried about?" 

"Oh, I'm not worried about her. I'm worried about what she'll do to you when she finds out the truth." 

"You're the one who made her an Avenger. I think it's time the rest of us got to see why." 

"You're digging your own grave, Barton." 

Present… 

"I hate all of you. How in the hell did you get Nick Fury to agr-" I was cut off by the door opening and Nick Fury walking in with Maria Hill. 

"How is she- Oh. How in the hell is this kid out already?" He looked over at the monitor displaying the time I took. "3 minutes, 25.7 seconds are you shitting me?!" 

I crossed my arms and rolled my eyes. "I hate all of you."

"You love us really."

"I am wearing quite possibly the worst outfit to get kidnapped in!"

"What's wrong with what you're wearing?"

"Well, for one these are my comfiest winter boots that funnily enough were not made for kicking ass. Also, I'm wearing very ripped jeans and a fucking oversized sweater! I fail to see how any of that would be useful."

"You could have strangled one of the guys with your oversized arm." Natasha shrugged and I threw my arms up in desperation.

"I regret everything."